The first night of tech for Trans Form was last night, and I’m kind of a mess.
(For those of you who aren’t theatre people, tech refers to technical rehearsals, where lights/sound/etc are set. It comes before dress rehearsals and/or previews, the final rehearsals before a show opens.)
The show is going fine, although I’m planning to head out of work early tonight and finish up some sound and video work. And yet, I’m really scared about it opening on Friday. Not simply stressing out, but scared. And, after thinking about what parts of the show terrify me, I realized I’m not just dealing with stage fright (although there’s some of that) but with some deeper internalized transphobia.
Continue reading 'Internalized transphobia'»
dreams, emotion, memory, theatre, trans, transitioning
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emotion, fear, memory, shaving, stress, theatre, transitioning, transphobia
Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day “set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice.” There’s an expectation that The Trans Community is supposed to come together and mourn our dead, celebrate our living. (Indeed, I’ll be performing tomorrow night at Center on Halsted’s Night of Fallen Stars, set up to do just that.)
I mentioned last year that I felt really disconnected from the TDOR, and I’m not sure my feelings have changed.
QueenEmily at Questioning Transphobia wrote a post, the drowned and the saved, today in which she said
There was an Italian atheist Jewish writer called Primo Levi who wrote about his experience of Auschwitz, over and over. In his last book The Drowned and the Saved, he drew up a distinction between “the drowned” (those who died) and “the saved” (those who lived). He argued that only the drowned could give true and full witness to the horror of the Shoah.
I’m not comparing the murders of trans people to the Shoah directly – the murder of trans people, which horrific, is not institutionally organised towards genocide in quite the same way. But what I want to point out is the structure of witnessing. Even Levi, a man who lived through the camp, at the end of his life felt inadequate to witnessing, unable to have fully experienced the violence he wrote about. Even his proximity was not enough.
She goes on to say that, even with her own experiences of transphobic hatred, it is impossible to properly give witness to those murdered, particularly across cultural or racial lines (most of those murdered this past year where latino or black, and in Central or South America). But that we should try, anyway, because it is our duty and responsibility to the dead.
Continue reading 'Transgender day of what?'»
I’m just stirring up trouble lately! A friend of mine has a blog that I follow, as he often posts amusing or interesting videos and links. Earlier this weekend he posted the clip from Ace Ventura which parodies The Crying Game, after ace discovers the woman he’s been involved with is “really” a man.
I called him out on it, and now he’s calling me sanctimonious.
Continue reading 'The transphobic, cissexist people in our lives'»
I’m currently working my way through Angel and, inevitably, they’ve arrived at ‘The Body Swap Episode.’ That’s the episode in every sci-fi and fantasy show where at least one of the main characters has a body swap with either another main character, or an incidental one-episode guest character. Specifically, Angel‘s episode is a ‘Grand Theft Me,’ as was the similar episode in Buffy. (As usual, TV Tropes can explain it better than I can, and gives so many delightful examples, so you should just check out the above links if you want a better explanation.)
I really hate the body snatch episode. Really really really. I hate it when it’s used for humor, I hate it when it’s used for drama, I hate it when it’s used to teach the good guy a lesson, I hate it when it’s used to teach the bad guy a lesson. I just hate it. And I think I’m starting to realize why. It’s a mishmosh of reasons, but I’ll try to make them coherent…
Continue reading 'I Hate ‘The Body Swap Episode’'»
The tongue-in-cheeck website Deraililng for Dummies promises to help “[derail] awkward conversations by dismissing and trivialising your opposition’s perspective and experience.” The site promises that its instructions applies to “sexism, whorephobia, racism, transphobia, classism, homophobia, ableism, kinkphobia, and fatphobia!” It’s rather amazing.
The simple guide includes such adversarial approaches as
- If You Won’t Educate Me How Can I Learn?
- If You Cared About These Matters You’d Be Willing To Educate Me
- You’re Being Hostile
- You’re Being Overemotional
- And more!
The “book”s intro after the break.
Continue reading 'Enhance your bigotry with Derailing for Dummies!'»
How I Met Your Mother is a funny show. I’m not going to lie and say it’s not. I really like the cast, I really like the characters, I really like the writing, and I consistently laugh when I’m watching it.
I’m getting more and more upset by the transphobia. That is, by jokes told at the expense of transgender women. Two big examples spring to mind:
- When discussing how relationships work until the ‘oh’ moment, one of the examples is Robin saying “I used to be a dude.”
- When trying to figure out why his girlfriend, Cathy, should be dumped, the third scenario has her saying “I used to have a penis.”
But I know there are more out there. In both examples, a potentially attractive female partner is rendered unattractive by being trans. I realize the show makes fun of a lot of different minority groups, but there seems to be a difference between having a positive gay character on the show and laughing with him, than simply making fun of how no one in their right mind would want to have a relationship with a trans woman.
As a trans woman, it really sucks to hear characters I thought I liked casually dropping things that would be incredibly hurtful if directed at me as a joke. I can’t imagine my little blog is going to have a huge effect on the show’s viewing audience (though I am also posting this to the show’s forum) but the very least I can do is speak up in the face of what is, in all likelihood, ignorance.
-R
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