Coming out of the closet isn't always easy...
There’s a post, Out Open, Closed, and In, at The Spectrum Cafe, that caught my attention. It’s about the spectrum of ‘outness’ trans people can choose to have: Out, Open, Blended, Closed, In, and Stealth. Dyssonance’s full definitions in her post, but briefly:
- Out – someone who makes a point to have ‘trans’ as part of their identity
- Open – someone who is willing to discuss their trans status, but not go out of their way to highlight it
- Blended – “[being trans] is a non issue — something that isn’t a topic for discussion unless the discussion is specifically relating to something important for themselves”
- Closed – “They don’t want people to know they are trans, and usually being closed is more a matter of simply not having had control and being put into a position that prevents them from being In”
- In – “In folks are what we have long called “stealth” — but stealth carries with it connotations of hiding, of deception, of intrigue…”
It’s an interesting scale, and I’d agree more useful than simply saying someone is Out or Stealth.
Continue reading 'Scales of Outness'»
Am I allowed to read this?
While I was in the hospital, my mom brought me a little care package. It had a stuffed bear, a silly coloring book, and a copy of Glamour.
The stuffed bear lived next to me on my bed. The coloring book was, well, colored in. And the Glamour was put into my bag of things, hidden away from sight.
It’s not because I didn’t want to know about “25 Times I’m Irresistible to Him (And Don’t Even Know It).” Or “My Top 10 Tricks for Sexy Hair!” Or even “59 Cute, Casual Outfits That Look Good On Everyone.” I mean, who wouldn’t want to know all those things?
It was because I wasn’t sure if I would be looked down upon for reading it.
Would the nurses think I was immature? Would my friends think I was silly? Would my visitors think I was….girlie?
Continue reading 'Glamour'»
Is there a merit badge for transitioning?
Apparently the left-over testosterone in my system is blocking two important girl-skills:
- I rarely notice when a friend gets a haircut, unless it’s pretty dramatic
- I can’t remember where and when I purchased every single item in my wardrobe
I’m told that, of the two, #1 is less forgivable.
This is one of those things that I’m not sure how to ‘fix.’ I’m learning (slowly) how to put on makeup. I’m getting better at seeing what outfits work together. (Though my date outfit from last night was the result of my roommate vetoing what I was going to wear.) I’m having tons of fun making and wearing jewelry. I’d even say I’m slowly adjusting my voice to something that feels more feminine and ‘right’ for me.
But all of those are things that, to one extent or another, you can practice.
Continue reading 'Important Girl Skill #473'»
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