Names and status
Comments (1) I was in the car tonight with EU, a friend, and CM, a coworker. EU has, like most of my friends, been referring to me as my girl-name for the last couple months while I’m still my boy-name at work. I know CM is aware of my girl-name, because she actually FaceBook messaged me about it after I changed my name on FaceBook, and I’m out to everyone in the office.
Nonetheless, I felt very awkward as EU called me by my girl-name in front of someone who knows me solely in boy-mode. It’s happened in a few other situations, but that’s particularly awkward because I’m not yet ready to transition into girl-mode at work. I’m getting there, I think in the next couple months, but not quite yet.
My mom recently asked if I wanted her to tell my dentist about “what’s been going on,” and I said no – it’s my business to tell people like that, not hers to do it for me. She asked, “How long do you plan to keep living a double life?”
I’ve done it for over twenty years and I can do it for another while if I damn well please. It is my perogative to come out to people or not, at my own pace. If someone knows I’m trans via information someone else gave them, they’re welcome to bring it up themselves and I’ll handle situations like that as they come. But I don’t think I have an obligation, to myself or to anyone else, to be a poster-girl for trans equality or out myself because my gender-ambiguous status makes them feel uncomfortable.
-R
Themocracy