Comments (0) Latest hormone updates. At 4 mg/day, my estrogen is at 1676, down from 4626. So I’m going down to 2 mg/day. Hopefully this magic dose will cause my anxiety and depression to fly away, like a 2-year-long bout of PMS…
Back from the doctor. Going back on lexapro, 20mg/day. If and when I go off again, I will not go cold turkey. Lesson learned.
He’s also dropping me from 6mg/day to 4 of estradiol. His thought is that my estrogen (~4,500, literally an order of magnitude higher than it should be) coupled with my testosterone (a reasonably low 12) means that A) I can afford to drop estrogen more without impacting my testosterone levels, body hair, mood, etc, and B) dropping estrogen might actually help with my anxiety and depression.
This isn’t new info, but he also gave me a temporary perscrption of klonopin, a much stronger anti-anxiety medication. The idea is that I’ll use that to keep me sane for the next week or two, until the reduced estradiol and increased lexapro kicked in.
Fingers crossed, cuz what I’m experiencing right now fucking sucks.
Friday afternoon, I went to my doctor to talk about my hormone levels and the possibility of antidepressants.
I like my doctor, a lot. I didn’t have to jump through hoops to get my hormones (only in retrospect do I realize how rare that is), he has a good sense of humor, and he remembers the important goings-on in my life, even with months separating visits. I will say he is consistently running late, something that drives me up a wall. I operate on ‘stage manager time’: early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable. (This is why I show up fifteen minutes early to most places in my life…) The flip-side of his timeliness, though, is that he spends a lot of time with his patients; I don’t like sitting around in his waiting room, but I very much feel taken care of while seeing him.
At my appointment on Friday, I explained how I’d been feeling, i.e. not too hot. We talked about what’s been going on in my life, and what things have been positive or negative. He was very observant in that most actors and artists have some sort of post-show blues, but I described how this felt really different than other post-show blues I’ve experienced; that this was about feeling an utter lack of excitement about anything, not simply being sad a show was done.
He said that made sense, and gave me a 2-week trial of Lexapro. Then he asked if I would be comfortable with having my Chakras opened.
Queen Emily has a great post over at Feministe about a women’s-only Vancouver pharmacy that’s excluding trans women. Even more interesting, however, are some of the questions she brings up:
To cis feminists, when you are building new resources, what do you gain by excluding trans women? Is that gain worth the harm you cause trans women? Is that not status quo with the rest of the patriarchal world – to see trans women as disposable, valueless and not worthy of protecting – and shouldn’t feminism be doing better?
Likewise, in light of the ridiculous cis debate, it’s refreshing to see a really constructive discussion surrounding a trans-related issue.
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