Comments (2) I should go to bed. It’s 3AM. I’ve been up since 10AM and have had a very long day. I feel lousy, I feel tired, and I want to be asleep.
And yet I’m sitting at my computer becuase I know the dully throbbing sadness I’m feeling now will pale in comparison to the aching grief I’ll feel when I lay down, as all the thoughts I’m currently pushing aside come rushing in.
-R
I know it’s the hormones and I still feel like shit. If anyone out there was trying to figure out what a sourless, soul-crushing sadness felt like but just couldn’t quite get it down, consider asking for my help, as apparently that’s what I’m good at right now.
And everyone is obviously right – a month or two more of shit is, in the grand scheme of things, worth putting my mind at ease for the rest of my life. I am aware that (the rest of my life) > (two months).
But knowing that doesn’t stop me from feeling like nothing is worth doing and I shouldn’t bother going to bed because tomorrow is just going to be miserable anyway.
-R
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