A few weeks ago I posted It’s a ‘woman thing’ not a ‘trans thing’, prompted by a post at Jezebel. I realized that a lack of confidence in ‘feminine’ skills not being a feeling of being a trans woman, but a feeling of being a woman. It doesn’t make you trans, it makes you…normal.
There was some great discussion on this site (and lots more at Jezebel) so I wanted to make sure everyone knew that Jezebel has continued their Beauty 101 series with posts on waxing and shaving, hair, makeup, and more. Me? I’ve been reading tips about eyeliner.
I’d rate eyeliner as the top ‘feminine skill’ I’d like to acquire. I bought some liquid eyeliner earlier this week, because a few comments said it was easier to apply. Well, I definitely think it’s easier to apply. It sure as hell went on my eyelid with less effort. Dunno that it was easier to apply well, though. But maybe practice will make perfect.
Continue reading 'Beauty tips from Jezebel'»
I just got back from a weekend (well, 16 hours) visiting one of my high school friends in Minneapolis. (I know you read this blog, so hi!) I drove up with one of my roommates on Saturday, arriving around 5:30PM, and left this afternoon at about quarter to one. We had a lot of fun – it was really great to see my friend’s house, spend a little bit of time (far too little!) with her son, and meet some of her friends at a Halloween party she and her husband were hosting. (I was undead – I’ll post pictures when I have some better ones…the ones from my camera weren’t great.)
Inadvertently, the party made me think more broadly about the idea of wearing costumes in our every-day life. First, because apparently queer people are really rare in Minnesota.
Continue reading 'Halloween Costumes, and Costumes for Life'»
Trying on swimsuits all by my lonesome.
That in and of itself deserves a larger post sometime soon, but I also wanted to mention before it slips my mind that I was at the Target my roommate brought up a while back. I saw a woman who I would, indeed, read as trans . And although I hated myself the second I did it, my first reaction was thinking, “Oh, that’s who my roommate meant.” I hated myself for thinking that because I don’t want others to think that way about myself. And, as a larger issue, because I still have a lot of internalized transphobia.
When I started writing this post, my first draft included “I saw a woman who I would, indeed, read as trans (although very pretty)” (italics are what was removed). I subconciously or unconciously felt I needed to soften my reading of her by calling attention to the positive aspects of her appearance, as if being read as trans was inherently a negative. That reading her as trans was the same as saying “Oh, no, you can hardly see the stain,” because the point is you can see the stain and everyone knows the stain is bad.
I don’t know how to get out of this mindset. I would love any thoughts or suggestions, becuase I think it’s ultimately a very self-destructive place to be.
And I’m not even sure where I want to be when thinking about gender. Should I have simply taken in her appearance as part of her and and not leapt to ‘trans’? Should I have still acknowledged that she appeared to be trans but not placed a value judgement on that? Should I not be trying to assign gender to people I see in the first place? I don’t know. All of those mindsets also seem to have some problem associated with them.
Thoughts?
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