Yum!

Way back September, I won a gift package from Early to Bed as part of their anniversary giveaway. Since I’ve been making such good use of my prizes, I figured I should share the love with all of you. The best part of the prize pack was undoubtedly the rechargable Vibratex Mystic Wand. Now i realize it looks a whole lot like the Luxe Magic Massager I reviewed back in 2010. And the general size and form factor are about the same. But where the Luxe was a poor-quality, loud, non-silicone, un-sexy toy, the Mystic Wand is awesome.

Lets start with build quality. The Mystic Wand has a removable silicone head, which allows for better cleaning and for the head to be replaced with other attachments that Vibratex makes. EDIT: I misread something somewhere. The rechargeable Mystic Wand does not have a removable anything. That said, it’s all silicone so easily cleaned with soap-and-water. END EDIT. The head is firmly attached to the body by a flexy-bendy neck, giving good control without feeling like the vibrating part is going to snap off. The body is coated with what feels like the same silicone as the head, but I’m not positive enough to want to stick it in my body. But you wouldn’t want to, so no worries.

The body is easy to hold, and feels well-made and not too heavy. There are two buttons – one to turn on and one to cycle through the 6 different vibration patterns: three that are a solid vibration at various strengths, and three that are different patterns of on and off. There’s also a blue light, which is a little bright, but I’m not looking at it while I’m using it… The version I got is rechargeable, and there’s a little rubber nub at the bottom to cover the charging port. Vibratex says it’s “splash resistent,” but I’m not going to risk trying it in the shower. It does feel pretty watertight, though. All in all, it feels like a good piece of equipment in ways the similarly-shaped Luxe never did.

Not my hand...

But how does it feel? Quite good, thankyouverymuch. The different vibration options offered enough variety for me, without being overwhelming. I particularly liked the mnn-mnn-mnnnnn setting. It’s also quite enough that I didn’t feel like an airplane was taking off under my covers, or that my roommates were going to burst in at any moment to check why I had a blender in my room. The rechargeable batteries inside also last for quite a while. I’ve recharged it a few times since September, but with regular use I’m still not having to plug it in every week. Which is good, since it can’t be used while plugged in, a real bummer.  The battery compartment isn’t user-accessible, as far as I can tell, so hopefully whatever battery it has will last a good long while.

All in all, this has become my go-to toy. I haven’t had a chance to try it with anyone else, so this is all my opinion. But it’s a high opinion, and I’d definitely recommend this to anyone out there. Early to Bed doesn’t carry the rechargeable (yet?) but has the standard Mystic Wand for $60, and if you’re looking for a vibrator that isn’t also a dildo I say it’s a great buy.

I do like my pink one, though. The non-rechargeable colors just don’t do it for me. ::grin::

Wait, what?

A Discovery of Witches is a big book: 500+ pages, hardcover, a hefty read by any measure. There were many times I wished I could be reading it on my Nook, resting the much lighter digital reader on my lap while in bed, or propped up on the kitchen table while eating, or easily in a single hand while brushing my teeth. The act of flipping pages with a click or a swipe (the Nook’s digital screen and physical buttons allow for either) was missed. I hadn’t realized how nice it was to not think about bookmarks until I found myself needing them once again.

But (and you knew there had to be a ‘but’ coming) now that I’m done reading A Discovery of Witches, I’m easily able to loan it to friends. While reading it, I was able to turn down pages or circle sections to help remember a passage I wanted to note in the review, or go back to later. Sure, it’s possible to place bookmarks and notes on a digital book, but there aren’t (to my knowledge) a good system of exporting them; they’re trapped on the Nook. Likewise, while it’s possible to strip digital books of their copy restrictions (and I would, were I ever to make such a purchase) they aren’t as easily lendable or swappable.

Which brings me back to the act of reading versus the act of having. I’m still not sure if or when I’ll purchase a digital book, because I’m a pack rat. I really like the act of having. As I said before, if buying a physical book came with a free ebook, my book purchases would increase dramatically. And if there’ s a light summer read, something I doubt I’ll want to go back to, I may end up taking the plunge and spending money on it. Likewise, I’m loving all the books I illegally downloaded, in violation of their copyright. The act of reading those is simply bliss. But I’m not yet sure diving full on into ebooks is worth the plunge.

It makes me think of where digital music was ten years ago: The technology was there, but the licensing wasn’t. There were MP3 players (some good, some not-so-good), there were digital music stores, and there was not a particularly large uptake. But those problems were solved, and now (according to my NPR listening, anyway) legal music consumption is up. I really hope book publishers get on the bandwagon soon, though, cuz they have everything to gain.

Right now the PC is my office computer, which means I have two internal harddrives – a primary and a backup – and two monitors, along with video editing software that can process my stupid camera’s obscure file format natively. What I’d like do do is this:

• Move the Mac to the office and the PC to my room (I can’t play video games on the Mac, so it seems better to use it as a work computer)
• Buy a mini-DisplayPort to VGA adapter so I can use a second monitor with the iMac (~$8, including shipping)
• Get more storage space, either:
  • Buy two external hard drive enclosures to use with the iMac – one for storage (since the 300 gig internal drive isn’t cutting it for me) and one for backup (around $30 or $35 each)
  • OR crack open the iMac and put in a new drive (I have tons sitting around). I’d still need one more external case for backup
  • OR do both? Decadent!

That list wasn’t quite as overwhelming (or expensive!) as I thought, which is nifty. Any other thoughts on how I can make my work/play setup as awesome as possible, for as little money as possible?

Alas, my experience with the Amante Remote Control Egg wasn’t quite so exciting, but still provided good fun. Read on for the full review!

Pretty, aint it?

Unlike the Luxe Magic Massager, the Amante actually looks like something you might want to put near your genitals. It’s packaged in a nice, easy-to-open box, and comes with adequate instructions for use. Both the remote and the vibrator are pleasant to hold, and the vibrator itself is made of medical grade silicon, meaning it’s easier to clean and safe to use on your fun bits. The remote is molded plastic, nothing too impressive. All in all, my roommate described the set as “the Macbook of vibrators.” And, indeed, it really is a cute little product, not at all scary or intimidating.

The remote has two buttons, one for power and one to change the settings. There are seven settings, including different power levels, pulsations, and riseing-and-falling vibrations – there’s sure to be something you’ll like.

After extensive testing (meaning me and my roommate going to the opposite ends of the hall, holding the vibrator, and yelling “Is it still working?!”) we determined the range when the vibrator isn’t – ahem – inserted into anyone to be about twenty feet. Holding it under an armpit, to get some flesh between the vibrator and the remote, brought the range down closer to 10. Not overwhelming, but certainly enough to use in a public place.

Which brings me to the biggest question I got from friends when explaining my latest toy to review: “Why would you want a remote control vibrator?”

I think the video at the top of this post gives the best-case scenario: a remote control vibrator is intended to allow for public or semi-public sexual activities, ranging from restaurants (perhaps at the “most public” end of the scale) to walking the dog together or sitting on a front porch (at the “least public but still kinda public” end of things). You could even just use it at dinner, in the privacy of your own home, allowing for surprising your partner without embarassing them in public.

It's like the iPod of vibrators

But any of those require a certain kink, either exhibitionism on the part of the vibratee, or voyeurism on the part of the vibrator. For this specific toy, they also require a very specific vaginal anatomy.

See the tail on the vibrator? (The part that made my roommate squeal “It’s like a mouse!” when it vibrated in her hand?) That’s supposed to be left outside the body when the vibrator is inserted, for easy retrieval. Ignoring the fact that it feels like it’ll break (it didn’t, and I think it’s stronger than it seems) it means there’s no real control of where the vibrator goes, or where it vibrates, once it’s inside.

Whether or not you’re interested in exhibitionism or voyeurism, vibrating panties at least allow for centering the vibration over your clit. The partner I tried this with said that it was an interesting sensation while inside of her, but more like a vibrating tampon or weird tickling than anything particularly sexual. (I, on the other hand, must admit I had lots of fun making her jump by using the remote without first alerting her.)

That said, it actually worked alright for me – not having a vagina – by positioning it in my underwear right along my perineum. (That is to say, my taint.) And by “worked alright” I mean it did succeed in turning me on. It’d never get me off, but it was an interesting and fun sensation.

I did, however, put the ‘waterproof’ claim of this toy to a full test. It worked fine inside of my partner (wouldn’t be much use if it didn’t) but also survived a bubble bath with me, suffering no ill effects.

So who is this toy for?

I really want to recommend this toy for everyone. It’s the prettiest sex toy I own, by far, and seems to be the most well designed, too. In fact, the only functional aspect I have to complain about is the included batteries wore down really fast. But it comes with an $85 price tag… Which means if you’re simply looking for a waterproof vibrator, Early to Bed has lots, and for less than $85. Likewise for bullets, including a number of silicone toys. (Which, remember, are safer and easier to clean.) And the Amante isn’t an ideal bath toy because the remote itself isn’t waterproof. (Though I suppose you could put it in a ziplock bag or something, and hope for the best.) And it doesn’t provide ideal stimulation in its intended role, unless you know your vag is really sensitive to vibrations.

So, I ask again, who is this toy for?

This toy is for someone who knows they want an insert-able bullet vibrator that can be remotely controlled by their partner. For that (presumably small) population, the Amante absolutely could not be designed better. (Well, maybe the remote could be waterproof, but that’d probably drive up the price.) Is the Amante worth $85 to that population? I think so. Looking at comparably priced non-remote vibrators, the Amante seems to be in the same ballpark on features, design, and silicone safety. Would I recommend it to friends? No, unless they were sure they wanted it for its intended purpose. If they did, I’d recommend it without hesitation.

Thanks to Early to Bed for  the Amante, and happy sexing!

What does that mean? First and foremost, it means I’m working in the ‘cloud,’ without any local file storage. If the computer isn’t online, either via WiFi or the included Verizon Wireless connection (which I have yet to get working) I’m SOL. For working at my apartment or a coffee shop, that isn’t an issue. If I’d had this netbook on my trip to Minneapolis, would the Verizon connection have worked on the bus? I don’t know.

BetaNews has a pretty good 7-day breakdown of one reviewer’s experiences with Chrome OS, and is worth reading if you want a really in depth look at what this machine could mean. After the break, I’ll go into some of my impressions after 36 hours.

Still with me? First, lets go through a few things I like.

The hardware itself is lovely, with the exception of the less-than-stellar trackpad. I don’t think it’s awful, as some reviewers have stated, but I definitely don’t think it does the rest of the laptop justice. The keyboard is a pleasure to type on, the matte black finish is sexy, and the logo-less design makes me feel like I’m operating on a very fancy computer. I also like that, above the number keys, Google has included frequently used keys (forward, back, volume, brightness, etc) instead of function keys. The screen is solid, not mind-blowing but better than I expected, and the computer starts up and shuts down very quickly. I haven’t worn out the battery, but it’s currently at 65% and claiming 4+ hours, which is pretty good by my book.

The OS has real promise. Upon logging in, it immediately synced my bookmarks, browser preferences, and extensions, meaning setting things up took almost no time at all. Part of that was, admittedly, because there’s not much to set up – no software to install or whatnot. I did spend some time playing at Google’s Chrome OS Getting Started page, but didn’t feel like I needed to.

Audio plays pleasantly loud, and I’m currently listening to a Sara Bareilles steam on Pandora, with no real noticeable slowdown.

That said, the computer isn’t a speed demon to begin with. Loading new pages takes longer than it feels like it should (a totally subjective measure, I admit) and I don’t think it’s the Internet connection, since other computers in the house are fine. Once a page is loaded, everything responds as it should, but loading flash-laden pages like Pandora or YouTube takes (subjectively) too long. The WiFi connections themselves don’t blow me away, as I’ve disconnected from connections that I feel like should be in range. Maybe I’m just expecting too much of my apartment’s wireless router, though.

There’s also currently a dearth of applications at Google’s Chrome Web Store. I’ve played around with a few, and they show off the promise of the OS, but nothing that blows me away. I’m also experiencing some frustration working with my @fridaythang.com email address, since some of the services expect an @gmail address. It hasn’t prevented me from doing anything, and Google has said they’re working on those kinks and expect them to be gone by early 2011, but it’s been a frustration I’ve experienced on my Android phone and now on the Chrome OS.

For example, I’ve read reports that Google Docs works offline on the Chrome OS. If it does, I haven’t been able to figure it out, and/or the @fridaythang.com account means I can’t get it to work yet.

Lastly, and perhaps my biggest stumbling block of finally getting rid of the PowerPC PowerMac in my bedroom, Chrome OS is unable to connect to network file shares and, indeed, has no file browser at all (as of yet). This isn’t something huge numbers of home users will probably need to do, but – for me – being unable to listen to 30+ gigs of music or watch 500+ gigs of TV shows and movies is a deal-breaker. I’m really enjoying the CR-48 for remote work, and plan to gladly continue using it at coffee shops and when I’m on trips, but I’m not yet convinced how permanent a place it’ll take in my computer rotation. (I have too many computers, I know…)

I’m still experimenting with settings and learning new things about the OS, so please feel free to tell me if you’ve heard anything exciting I might have missed, or have any questions about my experiences.

I’d do a big lead up to what I think of the game, but it’s really not worth it: This game is tons of fun. It combines the best of the NES versions of Mario (particularly drawing a lot from Mario 3) as well as the SNES Super Mario World (SMW). In fact, I’d rate it only slightly behind Super Mario World, my all-time favorite Mario game, in terms of fun and difficulty.

One of the things that is nice about this game is, unlike some of the old school Mario games, it feels very surmountable. There are tons of secrets, hidden paths, and extra stuff to get, but simply getting through each level rarely feels like a chore or like the designers have it in for you as the player. Part of the reason it doesn’t quite reach SMW for me is because of those secrets, though. I loved SMW’s tons and tons of alternate paths and hidden worlds, and while the NSBMW has quite a few, it doesn’t seem to match the sheer volume of secrets to be found on the SNES.

Another big thing is the multiplayer. The DS version was able to provide competitive multiplayer, with multiple DS systems, but this allows you to partner with friends to make your way through the main game. It’s up to you whether  you’re out to help or hinder each other, though.

All in all, you should probably already know if you want this game. Love 2D Mario games? This is for you. Hate 2D Mario? Avoid this game. (Also, what the hell is wrong with you?!)

The Force Unleashed, meanwhile, is a game I’m borrowing from a friend. It’s a Star Wars game set between Episodes III and IV, in which you take the role of Darth Vadar’s apprentice and dark side your way through the galaxy. I’m really torn on this game. On the one hand, it’s actually tons of fun. Smashing your way through good and bad guys alike, choking people, shooting ‘em with lightening… This game promises you’ll get to whoop ass as a dark side master, and it lives up to that promise. It’s exactly what it says on the tin: tons of lightsaber battles and force attacks.

That said, the story is kind of ridiculous, and the game falls under an “Everything looks like a nail if all you have is a hammer” type gameplay. Basically, there are quite a few levels where your tasks seem reasonable, but it’s absurd you’re going out alone as a force-wielder, instead of USING THE FUCKING SHIP YOU HAVE to make things easier. Likewise, while I’m all for filling in gaps in the Star Wars mythos, I’m unconvinced that the things happening in this game were just magically forgotten by characters later in the trilogy.

As a $40 game, or even a $20 game, I’d be hesitant to recommend this. But it looks like it’s under $15 at Amazon right now, which is a price point you can probably buy this without feeling too guilty. (It’s also pretty clear from the previews that the Wii version is quite a bit uglier than the 360 and PS3 versions, but that’s – unfortunately – to be expected.)

Galcon

Just got Galcon on my Android phone to tide me over while I’m traveling this week. (And am currently playing it instead of, y’know, memorizing my lines or prepping for my show…)

It’s a pretty great game, described by Penny Arcade as “Space Risk in Real Time.” That is, you’re trying to take and hold planets by moving armies around. There are no dice rolls – it’s a pure numbers game – and the bigger your planets are the faster you generate new armies.

At an easy $2.99, available for iPhone and (in a larger edition) for computer) I highly recommend it.

You will be missed

It was bought by a local record store, to entertain their customers, so I still plan on stopping by to say ‘hi’.

I bought this one! This one! Mine!

As I mentioned last month, I bought an electric bike shortly after I got out of the hospital. Specifically, a Currie EZip Trailz. (I feel particularly clever because it’s currently $499 at Amazon, but I bought it for a brief period when it was $399.) I haven’t really discussed it much since then, though, so I figured it was time for an actual review.

First, a bit on how electric bikes work. They all have some sort of motor connected to a battery, allowing for extra oomph while biking. The motor is either strapped onto the fame (like my bike) or, for more expensive models, built into the hub of the wheel. The hub motors are better and quieter, but the external motors are cheaper. The battery then goes somewhere on the frame of the bike, in this case attaching to the rear rack. Again, on fancier bikes, the battery is more well-hidden. Depending on the style of the bike, you get power to the motor either automatically, by pedaling, or manually, by a handle-mounted throttle or trigger.

The Trailz is about as low-end of an electric bike as you can find. It’s a steel frame, so it’s super heavy, the battery is less expensive, so it’s heavy, and the motor is mounted rather than hub-based, so it’s heavy. With the battery, the bike weight about 90 pounds. Without, it’s closer to 75. I got the step-through model because, to be totally honest, it’s a bit more girlie. So sue me.

The bike has two modes of operation, which Currie calls “Pedal Assist” (PA) and “Twist and Go” (TAG). Pedal assist means that the motor will automatically kick in when you’re pedaling, to give you an extra bit of power. You can also twist the throttle to get even more power, but by default the motor will help you out a bit. In my experience, PA gets me to about 13 or 14 MPH without much work, which is pretty great. TAG means you don’t have to pedal at all, but I rarely use it because it makes me feel like a complete tool. It’s fun, particularly when showing off the bike to friends, but I like the experience of pedaling a bit.

This is the emotional experience of riding the electric bike.

What I usually end up doing is using pedal assist to get me up as fast as it’ll go, then twist the throttle for maximum speed. I’m going to be a giant dork and say I feel like it gives me afterburners, which is just awesome. It’s particularly fun to pull up next to a (real) biker at a stoplight, and just waste them when the light turns green. Or bike lazily by someone who is clearly working much harder than I am, even though I’m going faster.

Using the pedal and the throttle, I’ve been averaging about 16 MPH, and can hit 20 MPH if I want to really work for it. For comparison, on my real bike, I usually averaged about 14 MPH and was working a hell of a lot harder for those 14 than I do now for the 16.

So what about downsides? Well, the big one has been weight. I intentionally chose an inexpensive entry-level electric bike, and I’m not regretting the purchase. However, next summer or the summer after, I may seriously consider selling this one and upgrading to something with a lighter frame and/or a better (and lighter!) battery. While biking with the motor, you don’t notice the weight. But if you try to bike without the motor, or need to carry the bike at all, the weight becomes kind of ridiculous. It’s like you have this easy, breezy time getting up to 16 MPH with the motor, but then hit a steep incline in difficulty. Not just because you’re trying to go faster, but because you’re suddenly trying to drag the 90 pounds of steel bike and heavy battery with you.

Likewise, the throttle is a little tight. By which I mean it takes too much effort to hold it in place to go – the spring returning it to the neutral position is strong enough that my hand will begin to tense up over the ~6.5 mile ride to work. Possibly a sign I should lay off the friggin’ throttle, but why would I want to do that?!

I do like that the battery is removable, even though it’s friggin’ heavy. That means I can store the bike somewhere – in my garage at home or in the basement storage unit at my office – and still take the battery up to my apartment or my office to charge. The charger is about the size of a laptop power thinger, so is easy to stick in my bike bag and take to and from work. In playing with the bike along the lakefront, I’ve successfully biked 15+ miles on a single charge, but I’m paranoid enough about being stranded at work that I take the charger with anyway. I’m pretty confident the 12 mile round trip would be no problem for the battery, I’m just a cautious gal.

Throttle and battery level

Speaking of the battery, the bike does have a red/yellow/green battery power indicator on the handlebar, which is nice. However, as anyone who has used something with a live battery status indicator can tell you, they aren’t very accurate. (Think about the battery gauge on your laptop.) If you’re cruising along using only a little battery, the indicator will be at green. If you then push the throttle and get a boost, the indicator may drop to yellow. If you go from a complete dead stop and use the throttle to get going (I’m lazy) it may even drop to red. I think I understand why – because it’s telling you the load it’s able to draw, and unlike gas tanks it’s hard to tell how much is “left” of a battery charge – but it’s still a little annoying. I think I’d rather have an analog needle gauge displaying the total charge, even though I know it’d jump around (like the digital lights do) as usage changed. But I’m a big geek who thinks about these things, so I don’t know if that’ll be a practical concern for most people.

So what do I think of my purchase? I (almost universally) love it. I have a few frustrations – namely the weight and the throttle – but nothing huge. I knew about the weight going in, and that’s purely an indication of how much I was willing to pay. But the ability to get to and from work on a bike, without having the full strain of biking, is awesome. And it fit what my original goals were: A) I’m able to raise my heart rate without arriving to work drenched in sweat, and B) Getting to work on the electric bike results in a comparable travel time to driving. On the way up to work, when there wasn’t much traffic, it takes me a bit longer to bike than to drive. But on the way home, during rush-hour, it’s probably just as fast – if not faster – to use the electric bike as it is to drive. I’m also more willing to stop and get groceries or whatnot on the way home, because carrying them is easier and less effort.

The only reason I’m rethinking the purchase is because of my situation with work. This may have not been the best financial decision as I look for another job, but it was definitely a great purchase. Feel free to ask any questions in the comments, but I’ll have to answer them later: I’m about to go bike to work.

A physical copy of You Suck costs $10.07 on Amazon. The Kindle version costs $9.99.

I realize that the promotion, layout and typesetting, and author fees make up more of the cost of a book than the physical, printed book. But I’m sorry – I refuse to believe the physical book costs eight fucking cents.

iTunes is a brilliant example of digital distribution done well: It’s easier than searching for files on torrent sites, it’s cheaper than buying the physical album, and the per-song and per-album costs aren’t insulting to the buyer.

At $6.99 I’d consider buying the Kindle version of You Suck. At $4.99 it becomes less expensive than the used copies, and leaps into the realm of “impulse buy.” At $2.99 or less, I’d be buying eBooks left and right, even if they only garnered mediocre reviews. It’d be worth it to take the risk, and I’d probably stop going to the library entirely.

At $9.99, a whopping $0.08 less than the hard copy, I feel sort of embarrassed for Amazon. It’s like I was flirting with a few different girls. One represents buying the book, one represents going to the library, one represents pirating the book, and one represents buying a Kindle edition.

Buying the book is super hot, great in bed, but requires expensive gifts.

Taking the book out from the library is pretty good looking, solid in bed, but unwilling to make long-term commitments.

Pirating the book makes me feel a little dirty, but suppressing my guilt is often worth the solid make-out sessions.

And, in the corner, sits Amazon’s Kindle. She seems really hot, almost as good as buying the book outright, until you approach. She gets up to  say “Hi”, trips over herself, spills punch all over her dress, drops the glass and breaks it, and in the silence when everyone turns to look at her, someone else whispers, “Yeah, I hear she’s also got a bad case of crabs.”

It’s just embarrassing to watch.