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By Rebecca, May 6, 2012 6:37 pm

A found poem constructed from text from the WPATH Standards of Care and the ICHIP coverage guidelines.

The World Professional Association for Transgender Health is NOT an insurance company. It is subject to its own enabling Act, and is neither an entitlement nor a welfare program.

Gender dysphoria is broadly defined as Section 7, operated by a board of directors pursuant to the Comprehensive Health Insurance Plan Act (215 ILCS 105/1 et seq.)

Discomfort or distress that is caused by a discrepancy between a person’s gender identity and that person’s sex assigned at birth must be eligible for this state program.

Transsexual, transgender, and gender nonconforming individuals who plan to change gender roles permanently will result in termination from the program as of the date required by state law.

The following is a brief description of the benefits provided by CHIP for covered services, drugs and supplies:

• surgeons
• patients
• mental healthcare professionals
• other health professionals
• clinical care

CHIP will not pay for any expense or charge set forth in more detail in any benefit plan booklet.

Transgender adjective must continue to meet all of the CHIP eligibility requirements.

Transsexual adjective must continue to meet all of the CHIP eligibility requirements.

Services, drugs or supplies that are for, or resulting from, surgery or surgeries performed in connection with sexual reassignment or gender transformation are often applied by the medical profession (referred to herein as Section 15).

Section 15 is neither an entitlement nor a welfare program.

Mental health professionals who plan to change gender roles permanently must be eligible for this state program before you can enroll.

The Illinois General Assembly- broadly defined as discomfort or distress – will not pay for any expense or charge.

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By Rebecca, March 6, 2012 3:13 pm

Part One of this writing exercise is here.

No fair! My feet didn't come with a flower!

Below the waist. My feet, like my hands, are slightly bigger than I’d like, hairier than I’d like, but I can’t really complain. They’re not huge, it’s occasionally obnoxious to find shoes in my size but never impossible, and hair removal has thinned much of the worst growth. I still have some patches around my ankles that I need to shave when I shave my legs, but no body is perfect. My legs rival my chest and face for the most dramatic success of hair removal. I shave my legs, much more in warm months, but don’t grow the same thick brambly forest that I used to. As of today, I haven’t shaved my legs in at least a month, and while they’re hairy compared to my shaved-this-morning face, they’re night and day compared to when I was in high school, pre hormones and hair removal. My legs are, like my arms, places of strength. I don’t run – it hurts my knees – but I bike and walk and swim and climb ropes and trees and lovers. I’ve been working on strengthening my hips, something a physical therapist said would help my knees, but don’t have much to complain about.

At the same time, my legs and arms have shrunk the most over the course of my transition. I joke that, since going on hormones, I’ve gone up two cup sizes without gaining any weight. All that mass, my previously mentioned boobs, had to come from somewhere – lots of it came from now-departed muscle mass in my arms and legs. I’m still stronger than lots of my girl friends, who knows whether as a result of testosterone or simply genetics, but decidedly less strong than I was before hormones. I’m not complaining, however, other than the occasional struggle at circus or the gym. But no pain, no gain. Or something.

Continue reading 'Body Map, part two'»

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By Rebecca, February 14, 2012 4:06 pm

I have an OK Cupid account. I’m not sure exactly when I signed up, but looking at old email notifications indicate I’ve had a profile for over two years. Online dating, in my mind, isn’t inherently “good” or “bad,” it’s just one more tool available for meeting people. Using it in such an eyes-open way, I’ve gone on a few dates and even had a few relationships lasting a couple of months, but nothing major or super long-term.

My profile explicitly lists that I’m trans:

DISCLOSURE: I am trans. If that’s a problem, don’t message me.

DISCLAIMER: I don’t think I’m under any obligation to provide the above disclaimer. However, I am waaay to lazy to deal with the coming out conversation at this point in my life, so am willing to deal with the ramifications of disclosure.

GEEK: The above disclosures and disclaimers were originally written as HTML-style tags, but OKC apparently edits fake tags out, leading to this final stylistic choice.

And that pretty much says it for me: My disclosure on OKC is as much a result of laziness as of politics. But recently I’ve started using OKC in a different way, as a self-esteem–booster and emotion-explorer. And to do that I’ve done something radical. Something crazy. Something I feel extremely conflicted about and am continually second-guessing. I’ve changed my profile from ‘Lesbian’ to ‘Bisexual.’

Continue reading 'Ohhhhh OKCupid – Online dating, sexuality, and self-esteem'»

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By Rebecca, January 31, 2012 3:32 pm

This past week I was at Butler University in Indianapolis, performing Uncovering the Mirrors and leading a workshop around trans issues. Everything went really well, and I met some great people. All in all a very good trip.

During the workshop, however, something came up that I had not previously considered. Specifically, someone asked about how trans youth are (medically) treated. I said that it varies, but that there’s an increasing use of hormone blockers to delay puberty. This allows a twelve or thirteen year old to age a few years and – hopefully – be able to make a more informed decision about transitioning. In my I-am-not-a-doctor opinion, it’s a good compromise: simply doing nothing can result in spending thousands of dollars to undo puberty, but launching fully into hormone replacement therapy opens the door to a twelve year old realizing they weren’t really trans at thirteen or fourteen.

Ultimately, I said to the questioner, there isn’t a perfect solution. Once a child realizes they’re trans, it’s a matter of picking the best choice from some bad options. Which, to be very clear, doesn’t mean that being trans condemns an individual to a life of misery. But it does, as far as I can see, necessitate some tough decisions and a difficult journey.

The questioner then posed something that has been bouncing around my brain this past week: Could allowing fifteen and sixteen year olds to be making informed consent decisions about their healthcare lead to the criminal justice system saying they were able to make informed decisions about crimes, and should thus be tried as adults?

Continue reading 'Trans youth and informed consent'»

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By Rebecca, January 16, 2012 12:34 pm

After reading about surgery exclusions and Girl Scout Laws and bigotry and narrowmindedness and the like, I realized I feel some amount of obligation to apologize for my body. For being trans. For having a penis and breasts. So I’ll do that now. Get it out of the way and off my chest, so to speak.

On behalf of myself, and on behalf of all non-normatively-gendered individuals, I apologize. I am sorry for being confusing. For being scary. For being strange. For being icky. I am sorry for raising awkward questions about what female and male means. I am sorry for not fitting into one box or the other. I’m sorry for questioning the need for boxes at all. I’m sorry for androgyny and ambiguity and flexibility and spectra and rainbows of infinite possibilities.

I’m sorry for my body. I’m sorry for having breasts that are the result of orally-taken hormones and not of gonadally produced hormones. For having skin that is smooth due to those hormones and thousands of dollars of hair removal. I’m sorry for having a penis between my legs, being able to pee standing up, being an outie instead of an innie. I’m sorry shopping is such a chore, that I can’t wear those yoga pants or that ever-so-cute dress without tucking my cock up between my legs and securing it with medical tape, I’m sorry my boobs are nice and perky because they came in at 23 instead of 13. I’m sorry for my physical strength, something I’ll always doubt it’s from working out and assume it was from the testosterone coursing through my system for twenty-plus years. I’m sorry for my wide shoulders, my big feet, my hairy toes. I’m sorry for my occasionally ambiguous voice, for still occasionally getting “sir”ed on the phone, for causing double-takes.  Continue reading 'I am so very sorry'»

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By Rebecca, January 13, 2012 12:52 pm

Exclusions. Covered expenses of the Plan shall not include … procedures, treatments, equipment, transplants, or implants, any of which are … for, or resulting from, a gender transformation operation. – 215 Illinois Compiled Statutes 105 – Comprehensive Health Insurance Plan Act

It’s unclear whether the State of Illinois has defined – through statute or the courts – what specifically “gender transformation operation” means. But it seems pretty safe to assume that the surgery I’m currently considering would fall under its purview. Surgery in which the “spongiform erectile tissue of the penis is removed, and the skin, with its nerves and vascular system (blood supply) still attached, is used to create a vestibule area and labia minora, which then are inverted into the neovaginal cavity created in the pelvic tissue.” That seems pretty gender transformative to me.

What’s interesting about the Illinois Comprehensive Health Insurance Plan Act (or the ICHIP Act) is what other injuries, procedures, and categories of coverage are excluded.  Gender transformation operations (item 14.iv on the list of exclusions) is lumped in with cosmetic surgery (item 1), anything which exceeds “reasonable or customary” cost (item 4), injury due to war (item 9) , services that are “not provided in accord with generally accepted standards of current medical practice” (item 14), contraceptives (item 19), weight loss programs (item 21), acupuncture (22). Interestingly enough, the act itself does not, as best as I could find, mention abortion or early termination of a pregnancy, but the ICHIP website stil says such services are excluded.

Continue reading 'Some exclusions may apply'»

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By Rebecca, January 11, 2012 10:16 pm

This post is in reference to this video (here’s my transcript). For more info check out this Washington Post blog post. In regards to my video, it’s not up to my usual standards but I wanted to get it out ASAP.

Dear Taylor,

I wish we could sit down and talk. I’d like to think you would be willing to have a conversation with someone who honestly wants to find common ground. I’ve watched your video, and it really moved me. You delivered your message with skill, grace, and emotion – I wish my high school students were as comfortable speaking in front of an audience as you clearly are.

That said, a lot of what was in your video was hurtful to me. I’m not sure if you meant to hurt my feelings, or the feelings of people like me, but your video was painful for me to see. Because I’m a transgender woman. That means that I was born in the body of a boy, but realized I was actually a girl. I’ve been on hormones for a few years now, to help my body match my mind. And a lot of the things you said about what it means to be transgender didn’t match my experience, or the experience of other trans people I know.

Since watching your video, I’ve been researching the Girl Scouts, and I’d like to print the Girl Scout Law, which I found here. I admit I don’t know a lot about Scouting, but I think The Girl Scout Law is a good place to start what I hope can be a conversation between you and I:

I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do,
and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.

Continue reading 'My letter to Taylor, the girl calling for a boycott of Girl Scouts over “transgender promotion”'»

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By Rebecca, January 11, 2012 8:33 pm

There’s a video on YouTube which – along with its message – has stirred up quite a controversy. The video, posted by username HonestGirlScouts, is a girl explaining why Girl Scouts should boycott selling cookies, and the American public should boycott buying them. That reason, of course, is Girl Scout’s support of transgender girls. Here’s the video:

But for those of you who don’t have the energy to watch eight minutes of anti-trans rhetoric, or in case the video is taken down, here’s a transcript. I was as accurate as possible, and will be responding to the video (and the boycott) itself in a later post. There were text overlays throughout the video, but I included them only when they seem important. The video uses incorrect pronouns throughout.

Hello. I’ve been a Girl Scout for eight years. So why would I ask you to boycott Girl Scout cookies?

One reason is that I have  been taught by Girl Scouts to advocate for my beliefs and to discover, connect, and take action when I see something I want to change in the world.

The problem is what I want to help change is Girl Scouts. Right now, Girl Scouts of the USA (or GSUSA) is not being honest with us girls, its troupes, its leaders, its parents, or the American public. Do you know that in Oct 2011 Girl Scouts admitted that they allow transgender boys from kindergarten through the twelfth grade? In fact, CO Girl Scouts VP for Communications Rachel Trujillo was quoted in an article by Baptist Press. The article, entitled “Girl Scouts Admitting a Boy Draws Backlash,” has Ms Trujillo saying this,

“We accept all girls in kindergarten through 12th grade as members. If a child identifies as a girl, and the child’s family presents her as a girl, Girl Scouts of Colorado welcomes her as a Girl Scout.” [EDIT: I can't find this original article. If anyone can, I'd love to see it.]

That means that as long as a boy wants to be a girl, they’ll let him join based solely on his wishes and desires.

OVERLAY TEXT: “Transgender Girl Scout = boy who wants to be a girl”

Continue reading 'Call for Girl Scouts boycott video transcript'»

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By Rebecca, December 12, 2011 1:34 pm

No one looks like they're enjoying this situation, to be honest

In Which A Question Is Asked

What does it mean to be a sexual trans person? A sexual trans woman?

Sidenote: I’m looking for my copy of Fucking Trans Women, an awesome e-zine available at http://fuckingtranswomen.com/. I know I bought and downloaded it, but am having trouble finding it. I emailed the site owners, tho, and hopefully they’ll be willing to send me another copy. At the very worst, I can spare another $5 for their great project.

Back on topic, I think being trans and sexual is tough for me (gonna try to use ‘I’ statements in this post, and not make generalizations) in part due to the huge variety of mixed messages I’ve received over the last 27 years. I’m sure I’m missing some categories, but here’s what I’ve come up with:

• Messages about male sexuality, even though I didn’t identify as male
• Messages about female sexuality, which I picked up even though I wasn’t yet presenting as female
• Messages about heterosexual sexuality, mainly from when I was presenting as a straight male
• Messages about queer sexuality, both before and after I came out
• Messages about specifically lesbian sexuality, again from both before and after I came out
• And last-but-never-least, messages about specifically trans sexuality, limited primarily to ‘chicks with dicks’ and ‘she-male’ porn

Continue reading 'Sex, sexuality, and surgery'»

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By Rebecca, December 8, 2011 6:12 pm

“CHIP will not pay for any expense or charge:” (pg 31) ”for services, drugs or supplies that are for, or resulting from, surgery or surgeries performed in connection with sexual reassignment or gender transformation;” (pg 32)