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By Rebecca, February 11, 2010 9:17 pm

I’ve been reading a lot this past week, trying to find a way to enjoy myself without simply sitting in front of a TV. To that end, I’ve been surrounding myself with good ‘escapism’ books, and figured I’d share.

Good Omens was the first thing I read this past week, It’s a hilarious book about the appocalypse, co-written by Neil Gaiman (of Sandman fame) and Terry Pratchett (of Discworld fame). It really successfully combines Gaiman’s skill at exploring and probing mythic tales with Pratchett’s irreverent humor.

I’m now reading the first book of The Mysterious Benedict Society series. It’s a fun young adult novel about a group of orphans who are recruited by the mysterious Mr. Benedict to help save the world from Ledroptha Curtain. Again, a fun book to read, and one where I know that everything will turn out alright regardless of the characters’ current predicament.

When I’m finish with Benedict, I think I’m going to reread some Heinlein, starting with Time Enough For Love. I fully admit Heinlein swings back and forth between being an advocate of gender equality and a shameless misogynist, but I still really enjoy his books; they take me back to being a teenager, but in a satisfying way somehow.

After that? I’m not sure. I may reread the Clan of the Cave Bear series. Without a doubt, a ridiculous and highly romanticized series, but another set of books I think I’ll enjoy without having to think too much.

How about y’all? What books must I read? What are some of your favorite books, escapist or otherwise?

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By Rebecca, January 6, 2010 8:12 am

I’ve been reading through a bunch of the Whateley Academy stories over the last few weeks and came to the realization that their organization leaves much to be desired.

I’ve been enjoying the stories a lot, and much of what I’m doing now is rereading pieces I’ve encountered before. Specifically, I’d say the story arcs of Toni, Nikki, Jade, Ayla, and Sara are the most well written, along with the other various stories by those characters’ authors.

But while the order of the stories at Crystal Hall is OK, there have been pretty consistent occasions where I’m not sure if I missed something because the information isn’t supposed to have been revealed yet, or if I missed something because I didn’t read another story I didn’t know was a precursor. Characters traveling freely between authors just furthers the issue.

I know multiple stories covering the same period of time make a simple timeline pretty much impossible…but if anyone over at Crystal Hall is reading this, some sort of order guide would be just lovely! (Or, lacking that, having the date ranges listed along with the story descriptions, so you could know what calendar period the story spans.)

(This is all separate from my love/hate relationship with trans fiction, which I’ll try to cover more in another post.)

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By Rebecca, November 24, 2009 9:10 pm

I had my showing last night of Trans Form, the show I’m working on for Dec 11-13. (Obligatory plug.) A few friends and artistic peers came to see it, and I really needed their feedback. I hadn’t shown a lot of the new material to anyone, so it was an absolute relief to hear that, on the whole, the show works (and is worth $10). I also really appreciated the feedback they gave last night, and hope to talk more with all of them about places it could be improved.

I bring all that up because I am feeling better about the show, but I’m still feeling like I’m in something of a funk more generally. And, with a recent comment on an older post about trans fiction, I’m reading some new stories and finding them feeding some of the same escapist urges I’ve mentioned in the past.

Continue reading 'The Siren Call of Trans Fiction'»

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By Rebecca, May 7, 2009 2:56 pm

I’ve been posing that question to a number of different people, and here are some of the responses I’ve received. (Disclaimer: The ‘poling’ I’ve been doing, if you can even call it that, is not in any way scientific. I did not ask for demographic information, and this anecdotal collection was self-selected from people who do read trans fiction to begin with.)

- I never had the courage to come out & someone else forcing me will probably always be just a fantasy.

- There is no sexual stimulation in reading these stories(for me) & the sexually explicit ones are sometimes a turn off. I think, for me, it is just good reading about subjects that are near & dear to me.

- [Trans fiction] stories help me have an imaginary life like I really want.

- I do not think that I am alone to have those stories with us when we have gone to bed. I just hope that they have been as inspirational to others as they have been to me.

And, of course, the seven ‘E’s:

1. Explore – reading to find new ideas or expressions, to help figure out where one is on the gender continuum.

2. Experience – to share the thoughts and feelings others have about themselves.

3. Expand – to widen one’s horizons about the various lifestyles and choices.

4. Erotic – to engage in a sexual experience which may result in another E – Ejaculate.

5. Escape – to lose oneself in the fantasy of others when there is no chance of it happening in real life.

6. Evolve – to help oneself move forward toward a real life goal.

7. Excuse – to let someone else take charge – to not be responsible for your actions.

How about you, gentle reader? Why do you read trans fiction? (Or write it? Or don’t read it? Or any other thoughts on the subject?)

As a reminder, I’m collecting my thoughts on, and links to, trans fiction here. Enjoy!

-R

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By Rebecca, April 28, 2009 10:49 pm

I just added a new category to my Trans Fiction page, ‘Offline Media,’ for listing books/movies/etc and placed Supervillainz there. Here’s what I wrote:

From the author’s site: “Supervillainz is a madcap adventure story of a Scooby gang of queer twenty-somethings pitted against a gang of superheroes who believe one of the kids is responsible for their brother’s death.” I think this book is really important becuase it’s about a group of characters who happen to be trans, and while their status as trans feeds the story it isn’t really the core element. That said, the writing wasn’t amazing – it was good, and I enjoyed reading it, but it didn’t blow me away. I do, however, look forward to Goranson’s next book. Buy it now from Chicago’s feminist bookstore, Women & Children First!

As a reminder, the Trans Fiction page is where I’m collecting thoughts on trans fiction, as well as examples that I think are worth reading.

-R

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By Rebecca, April 8, 2009 10:34 am

I was recently reading Scrambler J’s Diane Castle’s stories over at the Whateley Academy site, Crystal Hall. (Note: someone pointed out in the comments that, although Scrambler J originated the character and stories I’m referencing, they’re now being written – including the one I quote below – by Diane Castle. Sorry for the confusion!) I  was struck by the following passage, written from the perspective of a teenage boy who, after manifesting an X-Men-style mutation, has been sent to live with a relative (who, unbeknownst to him, is trans):

What the hell had I gotten myself into?  Greg had gone nuts and had turned into a female impersonator or something.  I may have said that aloud, since the brunette gave me a nasty glare.

“Trev, this is my wife Janet.”

I stared at the brunette, “And are you a guy with a dick too?”

She glared back.  “You are such a prejudiced little fuck!  No, I’m a woman.  I’m what we call a ‘GG’.  That means genetically female.  I just happen to love your sister Gracie.  We’ll see whether I love her enough to put up with a piece of shit like you!”

I tried again.  “Greg…”

“Grace!” they both snapped at me.

“Umm, okay, I don’t understand.  You were my big brother.  You drove a really nice Bentley.  You played basketball for Chilton.”  I took a breath and asked, “What the hell happened to you?”

They looked at each other and did that ‘silent signals’ stuff that Mother and Father sometimes did in front of us kids.  Janet finally said, “Maybe you’d better explain, Gracie.”

Greg – I mean, Gracie – sighed, “Did you ever wonder if I was just a little different from the other guys?”

I admitted, “Well, no.  I just always thought you were great.  As a big brother.  I mean, you were nicer to your little siblings than most of the older brothers I knew…”  I thought for a minute and realized, “Hey!  You never dated anyone!  I mean, Paul went through the girls at Chilton like a buzzsaw, and David’s dating Melinda Hughes-Carling, and I took Ravenna Sainte James to the junior high prom, but you hardly ever dated anyone!”

“Right,” Gracie said.  “I was having a hard time dealing with my own sexuality.  I realized around about kindergarten or first grade that I was in the wrong body.  I really wanted to be one of the kids who got to wear the pretty party dresses and style their hair with their mommies.  Instead, I had to be Greg.  I had to be someone I wasn’t, in a body that felt all wrong.  And it just got worse as I got older.  Proms and weddings were the worst.  I had to wear a stupid tux and a choking necktie.  The girls got to wear the most gorgeous dresses…  It was torture.  It was like working in a bakery and having my mouth sewn shut so I could never taste all the delicacies that were laid out in front of me.”

(Emphasis mine.) I’d like to offer this as an example of why trans fiction is valuable to me – it’s an opportunity to read about the experience of being trans, something that I can relate to and that isn’t found in tons of fiction.

As a reminder, I’m compiling my thoughts about trans fiction at this page on this blog. Feel free to stop by and check out my musings, as well as my reading list, and let me know if there’s something I should take a look at.

-R

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By Rebecca, April 1, 2009 11:20 pm

This is a work of fiction.

creak-creak.
Creak-Creak.
CREAK-CREAK!
(Gasp!) (Moan!)

I turned down the volume on my computer and looked at the wall as if I could see through it. I then regretted that thought, as what lay on the other side was obvious. More to the point, with the way my desk and Heather’s bed are configured, I’d get a feet-first view of Mark (Heather’s boyfriend) pumping away industriously. I obviously didn’t care that they were having sex, although a part of me couldn’t help but wonder why anyone else should be getting any when I sure as hell wasn’t, and they weren’t even being particularly loud. Unfortunately, our rooms have a linking door (a holdover from design decisions neither I, my roommates, or our landlords entirely understand) and the thin wood of the door did little to muffle any sounds.

I sighed. The irony was, Heather and I had had a conversation just days earlier about whether I could hear her having sex. I had said that I couldn’t, which had been true at the time but was no longer the case. How do you handle situations like these? As I said, it wasn’t an issue of wanting them to stop having sex in general, just that I don’t have enough of a voyeur in me to enjoy listening in on two friends having sex. Particularly when I know there’s no chance I’ll be invited to participate, and particularly if I’m sober.

I got up, walked down the hall to John’s room, and knocked. “Can I come in?”

Continue reading 'Root for the home team'»

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By Rebecca, March 29, 2009 12:48 am

You may have noticed a new addition in the upper right (for those of you not reading via RSS). I keep coming back to trans fiction in posts, so I figured I should just make a (semi) static page linking to my blog posts on the subject, as well as authors/stories/sites I like.  So, here it is! I’ll try to remember to make individual posts when I  update it, but no promises…

-R

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By Rebecca, February 23, 2009 12:39 am

Edit, 3/28/09 – I’m attempting to organize my thoughts on trans fiction here. That page contains links to all of the blog posts I’ve written on the subject, as well as a (growing) collection of links to sites focusing on trans fiction, and particular trans-themed authors/stories I like.

As I’ve mentioned once or twice, I have a tendency to read trans fiction when I’m feeling down. (And, apparently, a meta-tendency to write about said tendency…) I’ve been feeling down lately, and reading more trans fiction, and wanted to share some thoughts. (I’ll write another post to share some links, which I know is what you’re really after…)

I said in a previous post that, “…for me, forced-feminization stories are feeding a desire to have someone else take control of my transition and do it for me.” I still think that’s true, but I’m also realizing that there’s an aspect of sympathizing with characters who feel horribly awkward as women. I’ve wondered why I don’t feel more drawn to fiction involving involuntary female-to-male transformations. Wouldn’t that allow me to feel more sympathy with the protagonist? She would be trapped in the body of a man, and struggling to get back into her rightful body as a woman. (Many forced-feminization stories follow the reverse plot.)

But I don’t really care to read about a character who needs to learn how to pee standing up, or play football, or discover the joys of the male orgasm. I want to read about someone who is struggling to remember to pee sitting down, and how to dress appropriately, and female sexuality. Because all of those things are sure as hell confusing to me.

And I do think it’s unfortunate that so many trans fiction stories involve involuntary transformations, because I do enjoy reading about characters who are actually trans, and not just thrust into a trans-themed universe for the purposes of the plot. (I’m realizing I need to do another ‘trans fiction’ list (and non-fiction, I suppose, to add a nested parentheses) and divide it in that sense – trans characters, and forced-femme characters, but I don’t have the energy to do it tonight.)

So yes, as I said before, I do enjoy fantasizing about having someone step in and take over the transition. That’s definitely part of what I’m getting out of forced-feminization stories. But I hadn’t realized I’m also connecting with characters who don’t really have the first clue about what being a woman means. And I think there’s a hope that, if I read enough pieces where the protagonist figures that out, I might too.

-R

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By Rebecca, December 5, 2008 12:37 am

Thought people might enjoy seeing this…it’s, basically, the final version of the script I used for the solo performance from a couple weeks ago. Video is (hopefully) forthcoming.

GENERAL LIGHTING - CHILDHOOD GAMES

When I was young – I must have been 6 or 7 – I remember playing ‘make believe’ with a friend, running around in the park behind my house.

I remember that, at some point in the make believe, I was captured by the bad guys -

- and transformed into a girl. My friend had to rescue me! But ‘rescuing’ me didn’t mean ‘transforming me back into a boy,’ just ‘freeing me from the bad guys.’ I didn’t really want to be transformed back into a boy. And I remember it being important (for some pre-pubescent, gender-affirming reason) for me to be naked on the bed in my room, my penis tucked between my legs in a hairless V.

Continue reading 'Ares and Aphrodite script'»