Walking out on friends
A friend of mine is in the show Talk Radio, which closed today in Chicago. The show is described as follows:
Talk radio host Barry Champlain is a relic of an analog age, on the verge of a deal for national syndication. Tonight, not only is he under assault from many callers-in, but he also has digital communication thrust upon him. Bogosian meets Orwell in this commentary on the media.
I went to today’s 3PM closing, and after 30 minutes of sexism, transphobia, victim blaming, and general obnoxiousness, I walked out. So what’s the protocol for walking out on friends?
The concept of the play – a talk radio show, with behind the scenes glimpses at studio drama – was interesting. Likewise, I’m a sucker for projections on stage, and the idea of using video chat to portray callers was interesting. (Even if, as one reviewer notes, it makes Vietnam War references weird.) At the same time, there’s a reason I don’t listen to mainstream talk radio, and stick exclusively to NPR: I don’t want to listen to that on the radio, and I don’t want to watch it on stage.
Within the first few callers shown in the play, one was a “transvestite saving for surgery,” one prompted the host into a “I’m not Jewish but look how I’m also not antisemitic” rant, two were caricatures of leftist liberals, and one – the one that finally prompted me to leave – was a pregnant fifteen year old.
I’d been tempted to leave earlier, but figured I should give the show more of a chance than the first scene. But this pregnant caller… the host first talked about how being pregnant “wasn’t the worst thing in the world” (true, I suppose) but then went on about how pregnancy was a gift, bringing new life into the world. And, the final straw for me, how she should think about what she’s done to her boyfriend, and the situation she’s gotten him into.
It wasn’t clear if her boyfriend was actually of age, but she certainly wasn’t. And I realize that this was a play, not a representation of real people. But there are people like that, and (as I said earlier) I have no interest in listening to their vitriol, on or off stage.
So how do I handle this, seeing as my friend was in the show? We just talked briefly on the phone, between his scenes, and he didn’t seem to phased. I apologized, saying I felt like it was a bogus friendship move, but I wasn’t able to dissociate myself enough from the material to be able to watch any more.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? I’m not really upset with my friend, since they weren’t his words. But, more broadly, how do you handle telling someone that you care about that you don’t support something they’ve done?
Themocracy
That’s a bit of an awkward scenario, but I think the way that you put it just now should do it, if he’s really a good friend of yours. Just the “I support you and your arts, but I don’t support this piece, and figured it was better to leave than to upset you further with my thoughts on it”. That’s probably the route I would go, and just hope that a good friend understands?
Walking out of bad theater is walking out of bad theater. (I’ve done it often enough.) If the play is that bad – you do yourself a favor leaving. It doesn’t matter who is in it, if the performance offends – the only way you can show your offense is by leaving!
If the playwright was being cynical, or sarcastic – something obviously got missed in the translation from page to stage. Are you to feel bad about that? No. The playwright and director, and the actors, are responsible for that. Not the audience!
They might not be his words – but he clearly didn’t think very hard about them. Or maybe he thought he could convey something sardonic? he failed. Blame him? Blame the words?
Blame them both.
It comes across as quite a sordid experience, indeed. I must admit, there’s one thing that will get incite me to violence: anti-Semitism. If I had seen that production, I wouldn’t have walked out. I’d have been carried out by the cops.
I’m coming to agree that my main power as an audience member is the ability to walk out. I don’t think I was clear enough that my friend’s part was – fortunately – not offensive. If he were playing the main role, we might have had a very different conversation. As things are, I’m content that we both had our say, and that I did walk out.
As long as you’re communicating about it, I figure you did the right thing. It would have been pretty not cool if you’d walked out and never talked about it, though.
I ended up chatting with him, and I think he understood where I was coming from. I do agree that simply walking out and not addressing it would have been pretty bogus.
I support your walk-out. It was the only way you could really symbolize your objection to the material, and save yourself further mental anguish.
Thanks. It was a tough decision, but I think it was the right one.