Glamour
Am I allowed to read this?
While I was in the hospital, my mom brought me a little care package. It had a stuffed bear, a silly coloring book, and a copy of Glamour.
The stuffed bear lived next to me on my bed. The coloring book was, well, colored in. And the Glamour was put into my bag of things, hidden away from sight.
It’s not because I didn’t want to know about “25 Times I’m Irresistible to Him (And Don’t Even Know It).” Or “My Top 10 Tricks for Sexy Hair!” Or even “59 Cute, Casual Outfits That Look Good On Everyone.” I mean, who wouldn’t want to know all those things?
It was because I wasn’t sure if I would be looked down upon for reading it.
Would the nurses think I was immature? Would my friends think I was silly? Would my visitors think I was….girlie?
I realize, in retrospect, this was a stupid thing to worry about. Particularly in the hospital. On morphine. Soon to have surgery. I’m pretty confident I could have openly been reading porn (or even, heaven forbid, Sarah Palin’s book) and no one would have been willing to judge me for it.
More to the point, I think it’s kind of silly of me to worry about weather the people in my life think I’m being too girlie. But it is something that I sometimes worrying about – some small hint of my years of male socialization crying out against being perceived as feminine.
I’m trying to fight it – to acknowledge what I want, even if it makes me worry about how I’m perceived.
And I feel particularly silly in retrospect, because I brought it home and my roommate immediately said, “Ooh, can I borrow that?”
Themocracy
lol be who you want to be Rebecca. If you want to read Glamour go right ahead. It is your prerogative to be the person you want, even if you have tried to ignore it or hide it for many a year.
I myself not only read Glamour, I subscribe to it. Along with Elle, Marie Claire, and Self. I am also known to pick up a copy of Vogue and Women’s Health from time to time. Yes there is some frivolous material in there but there is also some great info, tips and new fashions to absorb. To me part of being a girl means that sometimes I am allowed to be frivolous myself and not have to apologize for it.
Men read things regarding cars such or hunting and the outdoors. Why can’t you read about things that interest you?
I think we worry too much as Trans women what others will think of us. To girlie, not girlie enough. Whatever! One of the best things I ever heard was from a cis woman you said; “Relax be yourself and don’t worry about what others think. Don’t try so hard and just let yourself be yourself. Things will be much easier if you do.”
I think she has a point there are a variety of women out there who may or may not read something like this. It is not for them to decided what kind of women we should be, just like it isn’t up to us to decide it for others.
So go for it. Enjoy being the girl you’ve always wanted to be. Even if it means reading Glamour now and again.
Yeah, I was being pretty silly…
And you’re very much right about worrying too much about what other people think.
Yeah, next time just go for it. From my experience, people don’t really judge which magazines I flip through. Magazines tend to be looked at as pleasure reading that people just kind of graze through without serious thought anyway, and I think people see the “shallow” ones as kind of like, say, playing a game on your phone: do it to pass the time and be entertained, and don’t take it too seriously.
It’s definitely a running joke with my friends that we all hate People, but can’t help reading it when it’s sitting around in our vicinity.
Oh. I also feel compelled to read anything with Taylor Swift on the cover. My deep and abiding love of her kind of ridiculous songs sometimes does feel a little embarrassing. lol
Some bullet point thoughts on this issue:
- Sexism causes people to think less of things that are perceived as “feminine” (or “girly), so we fear being thought less of for doing things that are feminine/girly. Maybe that’s some of what’s going on for you? I’m thinking about some of what Julia Serrano writes in _Whipping Girl_ and this post on academichic (which I occasionally read) http://www.academichic.com/2010/04/06/spring-florals-femininity-and-feminism/
- Personally, I also tend to worry about being judged for being a bad feminist or not a serious person (see above) when I pick up these things (or am I buying into the icky values of the heteropatriarchy by caring about fashion and spending money on clothes?). Ok, sexism is obviously alive and well in magazines like Glamour, and the fashion industry in general, but I certainly wouldn’t judge anyone else for reading them. So why hold myself to different standards of judgement? As a librarian, I’m professionally opposed to judging peoples’ reading material, and personally I know people (including me) who pick up these magazines for many different reasons (not that the reasons matter). I would completely understand boycotting this kind of pop culture publication, but I also see nothing wrong with exploring it. If there were a magazine called “Fashion for People of All Genders Working Against Sexism, Cissexism, and Heterosexism” (perhaps with regular columnist @feministhulk from twitter) I would be more inclined to support such a publication by buying it regularly, but I also think we can probably buy pop culture fashion mags without necessarily buying into their problematic viewpoints. Can we?
I’ve had a very roller-coaster relationship with my femininity and I have to admit, these types of magazines can drive me out of my tree. However, I’ve come to the conclusion that as long as you don’t fall for the “servility tips” they often come up with, and you only use what makes you feel good and happy, then they can’t hurt you. I would just say if anything in there makes you feel you’re not quite good enough, it isn’t you. It’s the magazine.
Welcome, Dominique, and thanks for the comment. I supposed that – like all, fluffy, sticky, sugary candy – these ridiculous girlie magazines are OK in small doses. I’ll just try to remember to keep some more nutritious reading material in my diet.