Antidepressants and Chakras
Friday afternoon, I went to my doctor to talk about my hormone levels and the possibility of antidepressants.
I like my doctor, a lot. I didn’t have to jump through hoops to get my hormones (only in retrospect do I realize how rare that is), he has a good sense of humor, and he remembers the important goings-on in my life, even with months separating visits. I will say he is consistently running late, something that drives me up a wall. I operate on ‘stage manager time’: early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable. (This is why I show up fifteen minutes early to most places in my life…) The flip-side of his timeliness, though, is that he spends a lot of time with his patients; I don’t like sitting around in his waiting room, but I very much feel taken care of while seeing him.
At my appointment on Friday, I explained how I’d been feeling, i.e. not too hot. We talked about what’s been going on in my life, and what things have been positive or negative. He was very observant in that most actors and artists have some sort of post-show blues, but I described how this felt really different than other post-show blues I’ve experienced; that this was about feeling an utter lack of excitement about anything, not simply being sad a show was done.
He said that made sense, and gave me a 2-week trial of Lexapro. Then he asked if I would be comfortable with having my Chakras opened.
I wasn’t totally sure how to respond to that. My doctor is very into Eastern philosophy and medicine, although I’ve never felt him push that in our visits. Indeed, while he had discussed his experiences in the Far East and the decorations in his office clearly showed his interest in Eastern philosophy, he had never suggested I try anything along those lines. He explained what the Chakras were, for which I’ll use Wikipedia:
The Chakras are said to be “force centres” or whorls of energy permeating, from a point on the physical body, the layers of the subtle bodies in an ever-increasing fan-shaped formation (the fans make the shape of a love heart). Rotating vortices of subtle matter, they are considered the focal points for the reception and transmission of energies.
He said that, when someone is stressed or depressed, their Chakras can become closed off and prevent the free flow of energy in their system. That contributes and furthers the stress or depression in an unfortunate cycle. He wanted to try taking me through some guided meditation to try and open my Chakras and help me become less stressed.
To be totally honest, I was (and am) somewhat skeptical of the stated goal: opening my Chakras. However, I am a fan of guided meditation and even, when trying to get over panic attacks in middle school, went through some successful hypnotism sessions with my then-therapist. So I was on board for the general idea of a relaxation exercise, and said so. But not totally convinced of anything beyond that.
He took me into a different room, with a raised padded platform; not quite massage table but less clinical or uncomfortable than an examination table. I laid on my back while he explained where the Chakra points were that he would be focusing on: the top of my head, my forehead, my neck, my sternum, right bellow my bellybutton, and my crotch. He was going to place his hands on those locations and chant me through a guided visualization, cycling through repeatedly. During all that, I was supposed to visualize energy bouncing form my head to my feet, back and forth.
The exercise was, indeed, relaxing. I recalled my breathing instructions from hypnotism and began focusing on slow, measured, inhaling and exhaling. My doctor began a chant that, as much as I can recall, was something along the lines of
We call on you the universe force, guide us and protect us, open us to the new, ground us, allow us to be a channel for and a source of power.
I know that’s actually nothing like the exact wording, but that’s how I remember the emotional intent. He went through a bunch of repetitions at each Chakra, and then moved to the next. (For the last, near my crotch, he had me put my feet by my hips to bring my knees up, and then placed his hand on the bottom of my thighs. A little odd, but nothing that made me super uncomfortable.
After his repetitions were done, he took out a pendulum and held it over me. This (somehow) showed him that my Chakras were open, which was a good thing.
The whole experience was definitely a new one for me. I did enjoy it – I’m able to sink into guided meditation pretty successfully, presumably from my experiences being hypnotized and being used to lots of guided visualizations in acting and theatre classes – but I don’t know that I felt “better” after. More physically relaxed, perhaps, but not less sad or stressed. Admittedly, being more physically relaxed isn’t something to overlook. But my doctor was suggesting I come back once a week, and I’m not sure. He didn’t say I needed to, or that I shouldn’t also try antidepressants; either of those statements would have made me a lot more uncomfortable. Rather, he said it was something that helped him feel more relaxed and centered, and has had similar luck with other patients of his. He said I should think about it, and give him a call if I decided I wanted to try it.
Now I need to just make that decision…
I also took the first Lexapro pill, 10mg, this morning. There isn’t supposed to be an effect for at least 2 weeks, which seems sort of silly – I’m supposed to schedule an appointment with my doctor in 2 weeks to discuss how I’m doing, but if I won’t be noticing an effect by then, why give me only 2 weeks of pills? Oh well… As I said, I like my doctor and am willing to trust him on this.
Themocracy
Hope the anti-depressants help you! The most likely reason that you have to come in after two weeks is that anti-depressants can have side-effects for people, even if they haven’t started ‘working’. There have been reports of people feeling more angry or more depressed which of course can be a problem. Hopefully none of that will happen and they’ll start to take effect soon. Good luck!
I’m hoping they’ll help, too! (And that they won’t have any side effects, and will start working quickly.) Thanks for the well-wishings, Tara.
I have had much success with Lexapro as has my mother. I found it to have relatively no side effects especially compared to Zoloft and some others I have taken. I know everyone is different but just wanted you to know I found it to be extremely helpful without any negatives attached
Thanks for the reassurance, Rebekah! I’m keeping my fingers crossed (I’m now on day 3) and will certainly post to let people know how things turn out.
Hmm, well, when it comes to the antidepressants, What Tara Said. Most doctors I know are super paranoid about any possible bad side effects of such medications. I’ll say that Zoloft is a life-saver for me, but it has a few side effects I don’t quite like. For instance, it took me a few months to be able to reach orgasm after I first started taking it. Also, on the on ocassion I was silly enough to let my prescription slide (I thought I was too busy to go pick it up and that it wouldn’t matter), I felt horrendously ill — dizzy, lots of vertigo, constant queasiness, a feeling of being perpetually drunk. So they’re serious things to be putting in your body.
As for chakras, I think you may as well give it a try. I’m not that keen on anything that could fall into the thoughtless cultural appropriation category, but the key word in that phrase tends to be “thoughtless”… I’ve found that chakra work (whether because it’s “real” whatever that means, or because it successfully influences my sub-conscious) helps me an awful lot.
You don’t necessarily need your doctor to do it for you though. I sit alone at home listening to Tibetan singing bowls (very beautiful), chanting, and focusing on each individual chakra. It’s the only form of meditation that’s ever made me feel so good, and I’m always a much happier, more secure person afterward and for the next day or two. It makes me feel so incredibly relaxed and satisfied.
Aarg! I’ve had enough difficulty with orgasming since going on hormones! (I’m mostly joking.)
And thanks for your thoughts on chakras. I think I’ll try some meditation focusing on the individual chakras; I think having a ‘goal’ or specific thing to be directing my thoughts might be more doable for me than simply trying to tell myself, “relax! relax! relax!”
I think you’re probably right. That’s how I started with Chakras. I realized I was feeling abnormally stifled and afraid of social interactions, and so I started meditating on opening up chakras that have to do with relationships and sociability and confidence… the next day, it was like I was a different person when it came to how I was able to talk to the people around me.
Oh, um, one more thing… (I can never articulate a whole thought in one reply lol). I really do recommend the Tibetan singing bowls. It’s nice if you can find a recording of them alone, playing one note. It’s like a very soulful noise that isn’t saying anything in particular but winds itself straight into your soul. It really resonates with me. Maybe you won’t like them, but they seem to get straight to the core of me and make me surprised and confused and awed all at once.
Ohh, one more thing. Though they say anti-depressants take at least two weeks to start working, a lot of people report that that’s not the case for them. I felt better after three days of taking Zoloft, and though so people might think it was a placebo effect, I can’t agree. Other depression meds never made me feel better at all, so I don’t see why I’d suddenly imagine that Zoloft would do so.
I’m hoping for a quick effect, but I’m gonna try and keep my hopes in check in case there isn’t anything for a while.