M.I.A.
Sorry I’ve been so absent lately. I’ve been stressing about a lot, and avoiding thinking about Things. Since that’s usually where I get my material (thinking – it’s what’s for blogging) I haven’t felt like writing much.
Anyway, I wanted to share a few things I’ve been avoiding thinking about, in hopes they’ll prompt me to sit down and write full posts.
First, I’ve been thinking more and more about The Surgery. My therapist said I should do some research – learn more about the different options, doctors, costs, recovery times, etc – in an effort to give myself some more food for thought. Not with the goal of making any decisions, but just to let actual information sift through my brain, rather than constructed assumptions. I’m hoping to start that project in the coming weeks, and will definitely post about what I find.
Second, I need to keep working on Trans Form video. I hate watching myself perform, so I’ve had a bit of trouble motivating myself to keep editing. Getting stuff done by New Years was massively optimistic, but I do plan to get the full video posted. Eventually.
I’ve also been thinking about a ‘mourning’ ceremony, to try and let go of the grief and regret I have about not transitioning earlier (and being trans in the first place). It’s an idea that I’ve touched on but never really explored. If anyone has suggestions on where to look, I’d appreciate it.
Themocracy
I’m thinking in terms of having a wake for my former self. Not sure how much it will help me with dealing with stuff, but it might help other people and its a really good excuse for a party.
Party excuses are hard to argue with… =D