Comments on: Playing Pretend http://fridaythang.com/blog/2009/11/25/playing-pretend/ One 20-something trans woman's free associations on gender, politics, geekery, and more Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:48:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: The Thang Blog » Performing Art http://fridaythang.com/blog/2009/11/25/playing-pretend/comment-page-1/#comment-4528 The Thang Blog » Performing Art Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:34:40 +0000 http://fridaythang.com/blog/?p=1306#comment-4528 [...] and how I’m feeling conflicted about the way I’m portraying my life. As I’ve been mentioning, I’ve had trouble feeling excited and confident about the show. In the show, I don’t [...] [...] and how I’m feeling conflicted about the way I’m portraying my life. As I’ve been mentioning, I’ve had trouble feeling excited and confident about the show. In the show, I don’t [...]

]]> By: The Thang Blog » Catching Up http://fridaythang.com/blog/2009/11/25/playing-pretend/comment-page-1/#comment-4272 The Thang Blog » Catching Up Thu, 26 Nov 2009 05:01:50 +0000 http://fridaythang.com/blog/?p=1306#comment-4272 [...] line with my previous, super positive and up-beat post, I’ve been thinking more about why I have this horrible block on viewing  myself, or [...] [...] line with my previous, super positive and up-beat post, I’ve been thinking more about why I have this horrible block on viewing  myself, or [...]

]]> By: Rebecca http://fridaythang.com/blog/2009/11/25/playing-pretend/comment-page-1/#comment-4255 Rebecca Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:43:32 +0000 http://fridaythang.com/blog/?p=1306#comment-4255 Thanks for the comment, Mattie. What you're saying about accepting the opinions of people I trust, not to supersede my own opinions but to augment them, makes a lot of sense. Just easier said than done ;) And spot on about passing. I sometimes feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the bad things that "always" happen to trans women to happen to me, too. Thanks for the comment, Mattie. What you’re saying about accepting the opinions of people I trust, not to supersede my own opinions but to augment them, makes a lot of sense. Just easier said than done ;)

And spot on about passing. I sometimes feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the bad things that “always” happen to trans women to happen to me, too.

]]> By: Mattie http://fridaythang.com/blog/2009/11/25/playing-pretend/comment-page-1/#comment-4251 Mattie Wed, 25 Nov 2009 16:50:11 +0000 http://fridaythang.com/blog/?p=1306#comment-4251 Rebecca, I work as a designer. If I am not careful I can slip into constantly second guessing my ability and whether others value my work. Or of my value as a person if I get too introspective. I think a lot of people do this :) I think what helps me not to is accepting that, regardless of how I feel, if people I respect have a good opinion of me, or of my work, then I should at least listen and accept that as being <i>equally</i> valid to my own, out of respect. I could say "well but they don't know x,y,z about me/how much effort/what I do" <i>but</i> they could well be seeing things or aware of things that <i>I</i> am not. So I accept their point of view as being as true and as worth while as mine. I also relate to the not deserving of good fortune guilt. I think some of that is about where I am in life, how I feel about what I have achieved personally and being aware that some of that is luck. We've discussed that a bit talking about "passing". It's like a kind of... generalised guilt about <i>not</i> having had it worse as a trans person when so many do. I think it's good to be aware that one has... but I also feel it's not good to dwell on it too much. Sometimes things just are. The universe isn't much into value judgements, only people are. Hope that helps in some way :) Rebecca, I work as a designer. If I am not careful I can slip into constantly second guessing my ability and whether others value my work. Or of my value as a person if I get too introspective. I think a lot of people do this :)

I think what helps me not to is accepting that, regardless of how I feel, if people I respect have a good opinion of me, or of my work, then I should at least listen and accept that as being equally valid to my own, out of respect. I could say “well but they don’t know x,y,z about me/how much effort/what I do” but they could well be seeing things or aware of things that I am not. So I accept their point of view as being as true and as worth while as mine.

I also relate to the not deserving of good fortune guilt. I think some of that is about where I am in life, how I feel about what I have achieved personally and being aware that some of that is luck. We’ve discussed that a bit talking about “passing”. It’s like a kind of… generalised guilt about not having had it worse as a trans person when so many do. I think it’s good to be aware that one has… but I also feel it’s not good to dwell on it too much. Sometimes things just are. The universe isn’t much into value judgements, only people are.

Hope that helps in some way :)

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