Sex, and the effects of hormones (pt 3)
And we’re back, with the next installment of Sex, and the effect of hormones! In part one, I talked about my sexuality pre-hormones. In part two, I talked about some specific aspects of my sexuality since going on hormones. And now, in part three, I’ll finally talk about orgasms since going on hormones. Enjoy!
So, as I said in part one, pre-hormone orgasms were pretty penis-focused, and cumming was never a particularly big deal. Yes, it was extremely enjoyable, but it was regular and consistent. I joked that getting off a healthy teenage boy shouldn’t exactly be difficult – little bit of friction, and you’re good to go.
Being on hormones has change that, though. Like some of the differences I talked about in part two, it’s a little difficult to describe what the exact changes are, but I’ll try.
First, orgasms – and getting to orgasms – feel more diffuse and spread out. I could cum just by playing with my penis, but I wouldn’t want to. And when I do cum I can feel it over my entire body. It’s kind of like I’ve talked about with emotions, that I laugh and cry eaiser, because it seems like my orgasms have a more direct link to the rest of my body: I thrash, I convulse, I arc, and I have a really hard time staying quiet.
I definitely think part of this is mental, since I’m more comfortable with my body and myself. But part of it’s not… Even when I try to stay quiet or still, I can’t do a very good job.
I would also say that, pre-hormones, orgasms were a steady thing. Sensation built in a pretty linear fashion, until they climaxed. Since getting on hormones, though, it’s like there are different plateaus of pleasure and sensation. I’ll reach one level, and then need to squirm and work and relax and tense until I can figure out how to hit the next level, where I start the process over again. If I can’t hit that next level, it still feels good, but is frustrating because I know it’s not going to result in an orgasm. I’ll teeter on the edge, until I’m finally (hopefully) pushed off. (At which point I lose all physical control for a while; see above.)
Before going on hormones, I definitely didn’t know what it felt like to be turned on, horny, and wanting sex and still not be able to cum! To any readers who have never experienced this, be sympathetic to your lovers when they do!
But the changes, even with the frustration, are worth it. Part of that direct link between cumming and losing all physical control is because it feels so good! Yes, it’s more work, but wow! SoI’m not really complaining…
I feel like I’m sort of talking in circles at this point, and I’m not sure how else to describe things. (Other than wanting to go do some ::ahem:: research.) I’d be happy to answer questions, though – any readers out there in Internet land have something they want to know about my sexual experiences pre-/post-hormones?
Themocracy
This sounds exactly like pretty much everything I’ve ever read about how women experience sex. It’s also decidedly not how I experience it — I get off (almost too) easily, it’s very linear and genital-focused, I have full control of my volume, etc. I have no idea what people (women) mean when they talk about feeling orgasms throughout their whole bodies. Though I have a pretty good idea what it looks (and sounds!) like. : D
Anyway, I enjoyed the series.
I’m glad you enjoyed the series, Bond.
I do worry that I’m sounding like orgasming is no longer at all genital-based, and that’s not quite true. (Side note: really, Firefox? “Orgasming” isn’t a word?) As I said, I don’t think I could cum without genital manipulation. I guess it’s more that the rest of my body is more keyed in, in both directions: Sensations from the rest of my body heighten the experience more than they did pre-hormones, and the actual orgasm effects the rest of my body more.
I’m also super-biased, because I’m obviously happier with my body and with myself than I was pre-hormones. So, although I’ve tried to be objective in terms of describing my experiences and remembering what things were like, sex isn’t (shouldn’t be) an objective experience and I know my feelings and emotions around being sexual are completely feeding how I experience things.
Right, that makes a lot sense. I’ve read a few accounts of HRT — all by trans men, by the way — that I found really, really offensive, because the writers didn’t acknowledge that bias, i.e., that it’s near impossible to disentangle one’s experience of hormones from one’s experience of transitioning to the proper gender. Patrick Califia is majorly guilty of this. (Shorter Califia in Speaking Sex To Power: “I find it much easier to cooperate and form relationships now, which is clearly because men are better at stuff and women are spiteful bitches. Definitely not because I’m now being the person I really want to be and relating to people as my true self. Nope. Spiteful bitches.” :/)
As someone for whom its EXTREMELY difficult to orgasm, I completely sympathize. I would say of all sexual experiences I’ve ever had I’ve only orgasmed 10% of the time, maybe. The thing is until I actually had one, I didn’t really realize that I wasn’t having them before. It was one of those, “oh its supposed to feel like that?!” kind of moments.
I agree its worth it: “even with the frustration, are worth it. Part of that direct link between cumming and losing all physical control is because it feels so good! Yes, it’s more work, but wow! So I’m not really complaining…”
Sorry it’s so difficult! You should get a vibrator and some alone time to work on that. Although I’d imagine both of those things might be hard to come by when you’re so far away from civilization.
I don’t know if you’ve answered this.
How has your experance of being (for lack of a better word )horney
changed since before and after HRT
I don’t think it’s changed a ton. It does take me a little longer to get turned on, but not that much longer. Likewise, I’m a bit less “sex sex sex” than I was when I was a teenager, but that’s probably a combination of being on hormones and, y’know, no longer being a teenager.
But I wouldn’t say that, like, it’s harder for me to “get in the mood” or anything.
I feel like I’m reading about how my body orgasms.
Which description, pre- or post-hormones?
How does your Significant Other feel abouty your body changes
Don’t have one at the moment, alas and alack…
Alack?
The smiles were for my question, not your responce
Thanks for the password; I really enjoyed reading this series. How you’ve experienced sex and/or sexuality (pre-orientation definition)as a woman is very similar to how I experience sex and/or sexuality, though I think you describe it far better than I could. =]
Thanks for stopping by, Ariel. I’m really glad you enjoyed the series. It was a really positive writing exercise to figure out what’s been going on, and I’m glad other people are getting something out of it, too.
I’m not sure what you mean abut “sex and/or sexuality (pre-orientation definition)” though – do you mean pre-hormones, or about my sexual orientation? (Not a big deal, just curious.)
I actually meant before it took on the new definition (sexual orientation) in the English language, back when sexuality meant exactly what you were trying to describe; how one experiences sex and their bodies. =]
Haha – I fell into my own trap of the problem with the definition of “sexuality.” Thanks for the clarification.