Sex, and the effects of hormones (pt 2)
In Sex, and the effects of hormones (pt 1), I gave some background about how I related to myself pre-hormones and pre-transition. This post is a continuation along those lines, and my thoughts on how things have changed since going on hormones. It’s a bit more explicit than the previous post (which was already explicit) so consider yourself warned.
I’ve now been on hormones somewhere around two years. I say “about two years” because I was conflicted about going on them, and every step of my transition has been a “Do I want to do this? This is hard. I don’t know that I want to do this…” kind of process. As part of that, I didn’t exactly mark on my calendar the day I started hormones as a momentous occasion.
Before I get into the effects of hormones on myself, or onto their effects on my sex life, I want to talk briefly about the effects of estrogen in general. When people talk about hormones in terms of transitioning, they’re talking about the effects they have on one’s secondary sex characteristics: body hair distribution, fat distribution, muscle distribution, sweat production/scent, and so on. Going on hormones as an adult can change some of these, but not others. For example, trans women grow breasts on estrogen and trans men grow facial hair on testosterone, but trans women don’t lose facial hair on estrogen, nor do trans men lose breast tissue on testosterone . (At least, not outside the realm of fiction. See my section on Trans Fiction if you’re looking for that…)
In my case, I’ve experienced fat redistribution (gained boobs, a butt, and generally softer curves all over, including my face), lost some muscle mass (particularly in my upper body), and had my sweat production decrease and change oder a bit (I think, this one’s kind of hard to objectively measure). I haven’t actually gained or lost any significant weight since the end of high school, which isn’t shocking when thinking about gaining fat at the expense of muscle mass. (If I’m going from no boobs to a B-cup without gaining weight, those breasts had to come from somewhere…)
But how have my sexual experiences changed?
(I want to pause for a moment to first discuss what I’m realizing is a gap in language. The phrase “my sexual experiences” is sort of awkward. I’m not talking about specific experiences, but rather how I experience being sexual. I keep wanting to use ‘sexuality,’ but that’s not what that word means anymore; it means “sexual preference,” which isn’t what I’m talking about either. Is there a word out there that means “how I experience being sexual” that isn’t about preference as it relates to other people? For clarity, though, for the rest of this post I’m going to use “sex” to describe “how I experience being sexual,” even though what I’m talking about is true in masturbation and with other people.)
Specific differences first, and we’ll talk about the general feeling of sex later.
The biggest difference (although not as big as I’d like, yuk yuk yuk) are my breasts. I’m a fan of breasts. I like them on other women, and I like them on myself. The cliche “If I had breasts I’d stay home all day and play with them” hasn’t proven true, but they’ve definitely made sex more enjoyable. Basically, I’ve gone from one major erogenous zone to two.
But in trying to figure out how to describe the specific sensation, I’m somewhat at a loss. It’s definitely a different sensation than my penis, and more diffused – I love having my nipples played with, but the rest of my breasts are sensitive to pleasure as well. And the speed/pressure/temperature that can feel good on them is much wider than that of my penis. Likewise, I’m not able to orgasm from solely breast manipulation, but it definitely makes the orgasms I do have feel a lot better.
Beyond that, I’d say the sensitivity of the rest of my body has increased, too. My ears, eyebrows, lips, tongue, wrists, and fingers are all more sensitive to being nibbled.
The sensations and experiences around my penis have also changed. First, my sperm production is way down (see my posts on banking sperm), if not off completely by this point. As such, I don’t really ejaculate much when I cum. But I’d say the actual sensitivity of my penis has gone up a bit, although not that much. I do need to be more careful, though, about whether or not I’m using lube or kleenex, even just when I’m masturbating. Otherwise, the sensation gets a little too raw or intense.
I’m also more interested in having my scrotum played with, as well as (more recently) penetration. I bought my very own vibrator a few months ago (a vibrating dildo, if you really want to be precise) and intially just held it on or around my penis and anus. I finally got the nerve to try penetration, though, and whoo-wee! Good stuff! Anyone who says anal sex hurts is either doing it too quickly, doing it without enough lube, starting with something too big, or a combination of all three. That isn’t to say everyone should/will find it pleasurable, but it definitely should not hurt. Masturbation has gotten to the point where I really need three hands (or a partner, ideally) – one for the vibrator, one for my penis, and one for my boobs. (And maybe someone nibbling on my ear, if I’m being decadent.)
Those are all specifics. How do they come together? How do they cum together? What about orgasms?
Return for part 3 of Sex, and the effects of hormones!
Themocracy
[...] also think this is a good time to link to the these three posts I did on sex and the effects of hormones, back in late 2009. (Wow, two years ago?) Those [...]