A Loss of Privilege, or a Gain?
Privilege (Noun)
- a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most: the privileges of the very rich.
- an advantage or source of pleasure granted to a person: It’s my privilege to be here.
Those certainly aren’t the only definitions of ‘privilege’ (see where I stole them from for a few more examples) but they’re the ones I’ve been thinking about lately.
The first is perhaps the most commonly used: “White privilege.” “Cis privilege.” “Male privilege.” recursiveparadox has a great post on that type of privilege, For the Uninformed: Privilege, Perspective, and the Little Things That Jab. She sheds light on how lack of privilege can become “this constant stream, this wearing away of patience, defense and sanity.”
I’ve been thinking about that second definition of privilege: “It’s been a privilege meeting you.” “Do you think putting a TV in her room is too big of a privilege?” “Pick up your toys or you lose dessert privileges.”
That definition – of a source of pleasure – has flipped my perspective around a little bit, and made me all the more aware of the loss of my male privilege (using the first definition).
Take going out dancing. I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m sick and tired of going to bars where it’s assumed I’m straight, and want to dance with men. On the same page, my dislike of Wrigleyville, Chicago’s frat row, has grown from simply not liking loud bars in general to specifically feeling massively othered by the culture and atmosphere. (If anyone in Chicago wants to go to some lesbian bars with me, please speak up!) It’s easy to think of this as an example of straight privilege: the assumption is that everyone is straight, and so the majority of the bars cater to said clientele.
But flip that around: It would be a privilege, a pleasure, to go to a bar where the assumptions about who I’d like to dance with matched who I’d actually like to dance with.
On a slightly more humorous note, it is a privilege to be able to pee standing up. I was at an outdoor event this past weekend, and only hesitated slightly before deciding to use the porta potty. Peeing standing up rocks, and it’s what my body is designed to do. It’s obnoxious and silly to sit to pee in public restrooms because I worry someone will see me standing to pee in the womens’ bathroom.
For a third example, take clothing. Yes, there is some very significant male privilege (first definition) in the expectations put on men and women when it comes to clothing and appearance. But I’d also say women have the privilege (second definition) of being able to dress either ‘boyishly,’ ripped shorts and an old t-shirt while biking, or ‘girlishly,’ makeup, heels, and a dress while going out. Now, that may simply be my (very, very, very) biased impression of having been denied the ability to put on heels and a skirt for so long, but I think it is a larger social construct that discourages men from dressing up beyond a certain point. For example, I’ve gone to work much more formally since transitioning – but still well within the acceptable range for women – than I could have as a man. I’d say, at least in younger or more liberal circles, women have a wider range of acceptable clothing options, and that’s been a privilege to discover.
I don’t know that thinking of privilege in this mirror or flipped fashion is useful beyond an interesting difference in perspective. But I’ve been trying to think about my discoveries of privilege in the positive – figuring out what bars it would be a privilege to go to, or what clothing I’d feel privileged to wear – rather than stand sadly on the ship of womanhood waving goodbye to the more traditionally-viewed male privilege.
Themocracy
Potato Patato
Tomato Tatato
Maybe its all a mater of perspective.
As a male in a male dominated society there are privileges. But with those privileges come some serious restraints. Blame it all on how John Wayne influenced our father’s generation.
I would guess with the loss of “Privilege” come freedom to be who want to be.
Anywho
Happy New Year
I think there’s some truth to that, although I would say the loss of privilege is real. But you’re right that, ultimately, it’s a price I’m more than willing to pay.
And happy New Year to you, too! I’ll be celebrating in the traditional fashion, in Wisconsin with friends from highschool, drinking.
As it should be
Have fun and don’t get to toasty
[...] submitted a post on privilege from a transwoman’s perspective. She plays with the word “privilege,” using its two definitions of an advantage [...]
[...] from around the Internet on the topic of privilege. I submitted a post of mine from September, A Loss of Privilege, or a Gain?, which discussed different perspectives on what ‘privilege’ has meant throughout my [...]
[...] submitted a post on privilege from a transwoman’s perspective. She plays with the word “privilege,” using its two definitions of an advantage [...]