On the Edge of Trolling, pt 4
Name change went well, and I’ll post a much expanded retelling later.
For now, I wanted to turn once again to comments that are barely questionable as trolling. That is, comments that are almost certainly posted just to be obnoxious, but there’s the slimmest sliver of a chance the person honestly thinks that way and isn’t intending to be inflammatory. This latest comment was posted to in reference to Misogyny and the Male Gaze:
What I love about trans is this: They were sensitive and easily hurt to begin with, but now they feel they have a reason. The dude’s always bothered you because he doesn’t think like you, but now the way he thinks *directly* deals with you, or so you think.
Get over it. Yes, you are “a pair of tits with a dick”, and lots of people are going to see it that way. Is that cool and fair and right? No. But how many minds are you changing by whining about it? Whining implies that you have no balls.
I mean, cry all you want, but you had your chance, still have your chance to be the man you were born as, so I think the crying is a little weird, forced and irrelevant at this point.
How delightful!
We’ll jump over that first paragraph, including why trans should be used as an adjective and not a noun, to get to the meat of things.
Get over [people offending you]. Yes, you are “a pair of tits with a dick”, and lots of people are going to see it that way. Is that cool and fair and right? No.
Not really trolling so far. Not great advice, or delivered with any particular tact, but there is something to be said for the “toughen up and grow thicker skin” school of thought.
But how many minds are you changing by whining about it? Whining implies that you have no balls.
That’s where the comment really takes a trollish turn. First, I’d say I was attempting to create and engage in a discussion around A) How my views about women have changed now that I’m living as one full time, and B) What to do about people who step on or offend those views. Whining, although certainly something I’ve engaged in (and undoubtedly will again) is a different beast. (BTW: I love the use of ‘peevish’ in linked definition.) Of course, in saying this, I forget that anyone who disagrees with a man about the objectification of women must be whining.
Likewise, I think telling someone who is on hormones – hormones whose major goals are reducing testosterone and increasing estrogen – that they have no balls is a hilarious choice of insults. I can only hope that the irony is intentional.
I mean, cry all you want, but you had your chance, still have your chance to be the man you were born as, so I think the crying is a little weird, forced and irrelevant at this point.
At last we reach the heart of a good troll (each item comes with its own Derailing for Dummies link!)
- The chance to be dismissive of my identity as a trans woman (“…you had your chance, still have your chance to be the man you were born as…”)
- Making claims I’m being overemotional
- Simultaneously claiming my offense is feigned and forced
Anyone have any more to add, or have I hit ‘em?
Themocracy
You hit it very well, but I would like to point out the ever-abiding notion that we have a choice in transitioning. For many of us, failing to transition can lead to depression and even suicide. I had a friend (note the past tense there) who, when told of my transitioning, said to me, “Why are you so ashamed of being a man? It is who you are, dude!” There’s nothing wrong with being a man. That is, unless you’re actually a woman.
I enjoyed this post, as well as your blog in general. (I’ve been skipping around!) I just started my own blog, and there’s the extent of my unabashed plug.
- Amy
Thanks for stopping by, Amy, and for the comment. I think it’s one really worth remembering: Transitioning, for many, is a “choice” in that taking insulin is a “choice,” and had I not been able to transition I would have most certainly killed myself by now. Framing the issue as “Just man up and be who you really are” isn’t particularly helpful.
And no worries about blog-plugging. ::grin:: This blog has been the longest consistent writing project I’ve ever done, by far, and has been really good for me. I’ll definitely check your blog out, and hope working on it is useful for you, too.
Are you running a secret school for cliche trolls?!
Personally, when I see this bit: “Yes, you are “a pair of tits with a dick”, and lots of people are going to see it that way. Is that cool and fair and right? No.” what I’m thinking is “Aaaah! So you see people around you as just the body part’s that interest you… gonna have to be careful about staring at the dicks though, some dick owners get funny about that! And you know that! But you’re glad we exist cos you think your chances of dick and tit staring without danger are higher with us? And you want us to go along with that so you can?”. Damn, some people need to just get over their obsessions with our bodies and get a normal attitude to everyone else’s too while they are at it.
::grin:: You’ve discovered my hidden school! I’m training an army of trolls, which I will then unleash across the blogosphere!