I want to be empty
Comments (3) I want to be empty.
Empty of envy. Envy of girls who are younger than me, prettier than me, with perkier breasts than mine. Envy of the teenage girls I will never be.
Empty of desire. Desire to win the approval of girls who are a lifetime younger than me, who look up to me because I’m older than they are and who I can see trying to impress me to win my approval, and yet whose approval I want so badly – and so absurdly – because I still wish I was one of the popular high school girls.
Empty of lust. Lust over every curve and every swell. Lusting after bodies I wish to press against my own, and after bodies I wish to be my own, all at once and together in a rush, ever-shifting.
Empty of guilt. Guilt that I didn’t start sooner, save more, do better, stand taller, act stronger, work more, support others better, give more of myself.
Themocracy