What do I want Judaism to be?
Daisy, the always-interesting author of Dear Diaspora, posted some of her thoughts on Judaism. She begins:
Something has been weighing on my mind lately. I am now more or less an adult, with the duties of an adult, and I realize that it is now up to me and my peers to take on the task of continuing Judaism. It is with us that Judaism will adapt and thrive or stagnate and die; it us up to us to create a new Jewish generation, or to allow our numbers to dwindle. The task of survival is ours, and the ship is ours to steer. We can make of this inheritance what we want.
She continues on the importance of Judaism to her, and how she feels about continuing to discover what the ‘next generation’ of Judaism will look like, and ends with some questions for other Jews. I’m still struggling with my Jewish identity, and figured I’d try to go through Daisy’s questions in hopes of getting my own thoughts together…
What do you like about Judaism and Jewish culture? What do you dislike?
I like the feeling that, in the very liberal form of Judaism in which I was raised, it’s possible to modify and change rituals and ceremonies to speak to what is important to whomever is performing them.
As an example, at this past Passover, the Seder I went to consisted of Passover Jeopardy, led by the hostess, followed immediately by dinner. Likewise, the year before, the Seder consisted of people going around the table and giving voice to oppressions which still exist today. In both situations, I felt a connection with Jewish history without feeling obligated to engage in a long ritual in which I, personally, don’t find much value.
I dislike the feeling I get from many that being a “good Jew” includes being a Zionist. I may make some enemies for saying this, but I don’t think establishing Israel in 1948 was a good idea to begin with, and I don’t think Israel holds the moral high ground in the current conflict. (Which is not to say that violence is acceptable in retaliation! I can’t conceive of a universally satisfactory solution to deal with the fact that Israel does exist, and isn’t going away, but violence simply begets more violence.) Anyway, I’m drifting away from my original point, which was that the sense of Judaism which I grew up with had nothing to do with Israel, and everything to do with a connection to the history of Judaism, of social justice, and of education.
Why are Judaism and Jewish culture important? Why is it important to preserve them?
I honestly don’t know, any more than why any other culture is important. I think Judaism is important because we place importance into it, because it encourages reflection and a connection to history, and because it’s as valid as anything else that’s out there…
This is honestly what I’ve struggled most with. I dislike much of the Tanakh, think there’s just as much immoral or unjust stories and laws as moral and just, and have difficulty connecting modern Judaism with ancient. At the end of the day, I’m not sure it’s the same boat.
At the same time, I do think remembering where we came from is important (for any value of ‘we’). I really don’t know how to reconcile being pulled in those two directions, though…
What is your relationship with Judaism as a religion? Do you feel connected to Judaism? To a temple community, to a minyan, to a study group? If not, would you like to be?
Very little, for reasons I said above – I don’t know how to reconcile disliking much of the religious text with liking much of the religious ritual. I have felt drawn to Humanistic Judaism, but not enough to actually try going to a service.
How observant are you? How important is observance to you? How observant should others be? Are some kinds of observance more important than others?
I’m not observant at all. I think being observant, as an exercise of self-control or a tool of reflection, is fine. But (again, saying this at the risk of stepping on toes) I don’t see how keeping kosher or observing the sabath – to the extent of not turning on lights – brings one closer to God…
What practices or ideas are most central to your Jewish identity? (i.e. eating bagels, loving books, celebrating the High Holidays, not celebrating Christian holidays, keeping kosher, fighting for justice, etc.)
Definitely the food. Ahh, bagels. ::grin::
I’d say that, although I don’t usually associate my thirst for knowledge with Judaism, education and the importance of study ranks high on my list of thinks central to my Jewish identity. Likewise for fighting for justice.
I think ritual and celebrating holidays does give me a feeling of connection to being Jewish but, as I said above, finding my own way to do so. I’ve found some prayers at Humanstic Jewish sites that I like a lot, because they retain the ‘feel’ and tune of songs/prayers I’m used to while not being explicitly prayers to the Lord.
Ideally, what will Judaism and Jewish culture look like in 10 years? In 25 years? In 100 years?
What are most critical issues for the Jewish community to address right now? Israel, intermarriage, declining synagogue attendance, something else entirely?
What are the key qualities for Judaism/Jewish culture to embody or functions for it to perform?
Phew. I’m lumping these last three questions together, because I honestly don’t know the answers to any of them. I feel too disconnected to Judaism to really feel like I have a say in any of them.
I’ve thought about how I’ll teach my children (assuming I have any) about Judaism, and what choices I’ll give them in going to Sunday School, having Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, etc. I simultaneously wish my parents hadn’t forced me to go (although they did give me a choice about a Bar Mitzvah) and am glad they did, and I don’t know how to reconcile that, either.
As for critical issues for the Jewish community, I’d say – as someone who feels like something of an outsider to the Jewish community but still sometimes identifies as a Jew – it’s bringing that very question to light: What do we (again, for whatever value of ‘we’) want Judaism to be? It’s this very discussion that I felt was absent when I was growing up.
Themocracy
Thank you so much for response, Rebecca. I’m really glad your voice is a part of this conversation. There’s a lot to think about here, so I’m just going to respond to a few things for now. To everything you said about what you like and dislike, your relationship to the community, etc. — right on.
I’ve found some prayers at Humanstic Jewish sites that I like a lot, because they retain the ‘feel’ and tune of songs/prayers I’m used to while not being explicitly prayers to the Lord.
Can you say more about this? Do you feel alienated by all mentions of God, or only certain kinds? Is your discomfort because you’re an atheist or agnostic, because of the attitudes about God, or for some other reason? (Just curious — a lot of folks seem to feel similarly and I want to understand.)
I feel too disconnected to Judaism to really feel like I have a say in any of them.
Not at all! Really, it’s us, we’re it, and no one is more entitled than you. I think more young Jews feel alienated from the community than feel connected to it, by a very wide margin. And that really sucks. We should claim what is ours and make it work for us.
Glad to have you stop by, Daisy! And thanks again for such a compelling set of questions.
Do you feel alienated by all mentions of God, or only certain kinds? Is your discomfort because you’re an atheist or agnostic, because of the attitudes about God, or for some other reason? (Just curious — a lot of folks seem to feel similarly and I want to understand.)
I consider myself agnostic. I believe (or, at the very least, hope) that there is more to existence and consciousness than what we can see, but I have difficulty making the leap from that to a divine being. I recently came across a passage in The Artists Way that I liked a lot. It said, basically, “If you’re not religious, feel free to replace ‘God’ with ‘the universe’ when reading this book – it’s merely important you be thinking about energies larger than yourself.”
I can get behind that, and I could see myself ‘praying’ to the universe in the sense of sending out positive energy or visualizing a change that I hope for. But I have a hard time and, as you said, feel alienated by prayer/service/ritual that is more God-focused, particularly Judeo-Christian concepts of God.
I think that sense of alienation goes back to what I was saying earlier, about having difficulty connection Judaism now with ancient Judaism: If God is omniscient/omnipotent/etc (which, to me, implies ‘unchanging’) how is the friendly, loving God that I was raised with even remotely connected to the fire-and-brimstone God of (most of) the Old Testament? I realize this is similar to a problem many people have, about the existence of evil in a universe supposedly created by a loving God, but I think it stems deeper into the question of who, exactly, are we supposed to be praying to? (Which, for me, leads back to questioning the value of the Biblical texts in the first place, in a delightfully circular chain of frustration…)
Not at all! Really, it’s us, we’re it, and no one is more entitled than you. I think more young Jews feel alienated from the community than feel connected to it, by a very wide margin. And that really sucks. We should claim what is ours and make it work for us.
I appreciate that. I think my relationship with Judaism might have been very different had my questions and frustrations ten-plus years ago been addressed in that fashion…
I’ve only just started enjoying your blog, and now you’ve shown me someone else I know I’m going to enjoy. Awesome. Great post!
I especially relate to your question about what to teach/what choices to give children about Judaism. I spent 12 years in Jewish day school, and while I’m extremely grateful to have the resulting depth of Jewish knowledge, I hated much of the journey and resented my parents for forcing me into it. At the same time, I feel like if I hadn’t been forced into Jewish life I might not have had the ability and the confidence to make it my own as a queer, trans Jewish adult. But I don’t want my kids’ journey to be as fraught with tension and pain as mine was, and I have no idea how I’m going to reconcile that.
I’m glad to have you here, E! And I can’t recommend Daisy’s blog enough, particularly to someone else who sounds like they’re unsure about their own relationship to their Jewish identity.
I think the concerns that it sounds like we’re both having have to do with how much autonomy and freedom children should be given by their parents in finding their own paths. My parents, to their credit, did not actually force me to have a Bar Mitzvah. Rather, my mom said it was important to her and left the choice up to me. (This is putting aside for another time the unsettling revisionist history of a family member who recently referred to my Bat Mitzvah. I do need to think more about that, though…) But the actual Sunday School and Hebrew School education was very much not by my choice.
And yet, like you, I am more glad than not that I had the experience.
I think the answer comes from finding what Judaism means to me, something I’m still exploring. From there, I hope I’ll be able to help and children I might have discover how it can be important to them.
I think, looking back, part of my frustrations came from the feeling my parents didn’t really care about the knowledge I was gaining in and of itself – since it was certainly never used at home outside of the High Holidays – and were simply doing what ‘good Jewish parents’ were supposed to do. I hope, if I decide to send my children to Sunday/Hebrew School, I’ll be doing it because Judaism is still an important part of my life and not simply because I’ll feel guilty if I don’t.
Rebecca — I hear what you’re saying about the prayer and the personality of God. I think you’re addressing a real lack in contemporary Judaism, which is a generally unwillingness to make direct comments about God, partially for fear of alienating atheist and agnostic folks. Ironically I think the lack of comment ends up alienating everybody — people who believe in God feel a frustrating lack of passion, agnostics encounter the problem you describe (who is this “God” we’re talking about?)… It’s not good.
[...] Thanks so much to everyone who offered their thoughts on the last post, both in comments here and at their own blogs. I’ve really enjoyed reading everybody’s ideas — I hope the [...]
[...] responded to these questions the first time around and am thrilled to see the conversation opened up to the Feministe [...]