I was watching some TV with one of my roommates the other day and she was flipping between (among other things) Bridget Jones II: Tumbling Over the Edge of Reason and Into the Pit of Obnoxiousness. There’s a scene near the end (spoiler altert!) where one of the characters professes her not-very-well-hidden love of Bridget Jones. Jone’s reply, after a particularly ridiculous kiss, is “I’m afraid it’s still men in general, Mark Darcy in particular that I love. But if I ever decide to punt for the other side, there’s no one for me but you.”

I mentioned to my roommate that – if a girl ever professes their love for her – she should not respond like that, as it’s rather condescending.

She said, “No, I think it’s flattering!”

I’ve been trying to figure out if she’s oblivious, or I’m being overly sensitive. I think there are two issues. First, there’s the whole implication that being gay is a choice. Now, Jones may simply be be using a slang term for being gay, and not actually expressing her belief that being gay is a choice. But I think that’s sort of beside the point, as responding to this woman’s very heartfelt expression of love with slang seems horribly dismissive.

Second, the implication that there’s any choice in who one falls in love with, above and beyond issues of gender. By saying “…there’s no one for me but you,” Jones goes beyond being explicitly dismissive of whatshername’s homosexuality and is more generally dismissive of her expression of love in general. If a man had said the same thing to Jones, removing the element of homosexuality, it’d still be condescending to say, “If I ever decide to stop loving Darcy, you’re the only one for me.”

It seems like at least one other person agrees that the lesbian scene in the movie is used “to reinforce the idea of lesbian intimacy as just another available offering on the straight male sexual menu.” She continues,  “which begs the question: if two women kiss and there are no men to see it, did it really happen?”

I don’t think I can finish this post of better than that!

(PS – After looking up the definition of condescending, I still think I’m right.)