Comments on: Peeing standing up, passing, and more!

By: trillian

trillian — Tue, 19 May 2009 16:05:00 +0000

Thanks for the comments, all!

I agree with both of you that passing is problematic because of the inherent judgment it implies (and that its counter would be ‘failing’). Renee, your post reminds me of Cedar’s post Put the Goddamn Space in: “transwoman” “transfeminism” “transmasculine” etc (language politics #1) as part of the importance of not reducing trans men and women to purely the ‘trans’ part.

However, I also agree with Mattie that passing (or a better term to replace it) is a useful concept. For example, it did feel good when the woman I mentioned asked if I was on birth control, because she wasn’t reading me as “really” being a trans woman. I don’t think it has to be a political statement if I don’t correct someone who assumes i’m cis. (Although, in this case, I did because I was in the room with someone to whom I was out and doing laser removal on my legs requires being in undies in the first place.)

-R

By: Mattie

Mattie — Mon, 18 May 2009 19:29:52 +0000

I completely agree, Renee, that the issue of acceptance should be divorced from “passing” as well as the point you make about men and women being men and women (or genderqueer individuals for that matter) regardless of how they choose to express that and regardless of physical chracteristics. Most cis people do unfortunately see “passing” as a prerequisite for uncomplicated gender acceptance and it ought not be so. It ought not be that conforming to someone elses’s standards of gendered appearance and behaviour determines whether one is treated with respect.
I do think “passing” in the sense of blending without being noticed is a useful term, if that specifically is what one wishes to discuss. I don’t think it is neccesarily deceptive in itself but we get caught in the double bind of society both pressuring us to be invisible and then crying foul when we are.
If one chooses to look and act a certain way and that is an honest reflection of yourself, but that just happens to also be seen as valid by the dominant group, can that really be called deceptive?
I do also feel that if some one wishes to blend in, to “pass” as a way of avoiding trouble, of living a quiet life, than that is their choice and a valid one. Not everyone is able to be on the barricades

I strongly feel that judging the validity of gender on gender performance and appearance is wrong, that the focus should, as you point out, be on acceptance without question. Both of gender and of the way an individual chooses to express that.

I think “passing” is too often a way of society putting the responsibility for them accepting us onto us, instead of taking the bull by the horns and just getting down to accepting people who they perceive as different to them.

(ps being able to pee standing up does totally have it’s moments!)

By: Renee

Renee — Mon, 18 May 2009 12:25:18 +0000

I have to say I really hate the word “passing” cause it smacks of being deceptive. To me a trans woman is a woman period and a trans man is a man. I think my issue with the word comes from African Canadian roots. I really just wish there was another term that made it more clear that we should accept the person by their stated gender without question.