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By Rebecca, April 12, 2009 7:36 pm

I’ve already made a concentrated effort to purchase books and comics from Chicago feminist bookstore Women and Children First, instead of Amazon.com. Basically, to borrow from one of my own posts, “Yes, it costs me a bit more than Amazon, but it’s important to me to have such a resource in my neighborhood. I want to live down the street from a store that carries books like Whipping Girl and Yes Means Yes (and has staff who have read them!) and hosts book clubs like The Intergenerational Feminist Book Club and (way on the other end of the spectrum) the Buffy Discussion Group. That said, it’s a shame their website is so slow…” So I’ve already been moving away from Amazon.com.

But this latest post from Jezebel.com just gives me more reason to do so. In short, Amazon is removing sales rankings from some (but, randomly, not all!) GLBT books on the basis of their “adult” content, including some books aimed at kids and young adults.

Continue reading 'Real classy, Amazon.com'»

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By Rebecca, April 12, 2009 4:29 pm

First, from Helen Boyd over at en|Gender, comes this video:

More below the break…

Continue reading 'Random Sunday Fun'»

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By Rebecca, April 11, 2009 12:36 am

I admit it – I’ve used the word “tranny” both online and off, and even a few times on this blog. But, as I’ve been thinking more about the issue (and about how I feel about ‘fag,’ and the-N-word) I’ve come to the realization that I don’t like what it communicates.

At first, I wasn’t even sure what was making me uneasy. The idea of word reclamation is very attractive as a member of an opressed group, and there is something extremely powerful about turning a word on oppressors. Because, lets face it, “tranny” is not generally used in mainstream media as a positive term. With the exception of an Urban Dictionary link*, most of the top search results for “tranny” are sex sites, as good an example as any of the societal fetishization and objectification of trans women. Searching for “lesbian,” in comparison, brings up links to Wikipedia, Lesbian.com, resources about being gay, etc. That sends a very specific message about what being a “tranny” means, and could actually strengthen the argument that “tranny” should be reclaimed, or needs to be reclaimed. Which is what I used to think.

I’ve changed my mind.

Continue reading 'Using “Tranny”'»

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By Rebecca, April 9, 2009 10:35 am

Kudos for Give Me Back My Five Bucks, an enjoyable personal finance blog, for highlighting this gem:

Amazing!

-R

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By Rebecca, April 8, 2009 10:34 am

I was recently reading Scrambler J’s Diane Castle’s stories over at the Whateley Academy site, Crystal Hall. (Note: someone pointed out in the comments that, although Scrambler J originated the character and stories I’m referencing, they’re now being written – including the one I quote below – by Diane Castle. Sorry for the confusion!) I  was struck by the following passage, written from the perspective of a teenage boy who, after manifesting an X-Men-style mutation, has been sent to live with a relative (who, unbeknownst to him, is trans):

What the hell had I gotten myself into?  Greg had gone nuts and had turned into a female impersonator or something.  I may have said that aloud, since the brunette gave me a nasty glare.

“Trev, this is my wife Janet.”

I stared at the brunette, “And are you a guy with a dick too?”

She glared back.  “You are such a prejudiced little fuck!  No, I’m a woman.  I’m what we call a ‘GG’.  That means genetically female.  I just happen to love your sister Gracie.  We’ll see whether I love her enough to put up with a piece of shit like you!”

I tried again.  “Greg…”

“Grace!” they both snapped at me.

“Umm, okay, I don’t understand.  You were my big brother.  You drove a really nice Bentley.  You played basketball for Chilton.”  I took a breath and asked, “What the hell happened to you?”

They looked at each other and did that ‘silent signals’ stuff that Mother and Father sometimes did in front of us kids.  Janet finally said, “Maybe you’d better explain, Gracie.”

Greg – I mean, Gracie – sighed, “Did you ever wonder if I was just a little different from the other guys?”

I admitted, “Well, no.  I just always thought you were great.  As a big brother.  I mean, you were nicer to your little siblings than most of the older brothers I knew…”  I thought for a minute and realized, “Hey!  You never dated anyone!  I mean, Paul went through the girls at Chilton like a buzzsaw, and David’s dating Melinda Hughes-Carling, and I took Ravenna Sainte James to the junior high prom, but you hardly ever dated anyone!”

“Right,” Gracie said.  “I was having a hard time dealing with my own sexuality.  I realized around about kindergarten or first grade that I was in the wrong body.  I really wanted to be one of the kids who got to wear the pretty party dresses and style their hair with their mommies.  Instead, I had to be Greg.  I had to be someone I wasn’t, in a body that felt all wrong.  And it just got worse as I got older.  Proms and weddings were the worst.  I had to wear a stupid tux and a choking necktie.  The girls got to wear the most gorgeous dresses…  It was torture.  It was like working in a bakery and having my mouth sewn shut so I could never taste all the delicacies that were laid out in front of me.”

(Emphasis mine.) I’d like to offer this as an example of why trans fiction is valuable to me – it’s an opportunity to read about the experience of being trans, something that I can relate to and that isn’t found in tons of fiction.

As a reminder, I’m compiling my thoughts about trans fiction at this page on this blog. Feel free to stop by and check out my musings, as well as my reading list, and let me know if there’s something I should take a look at.

-R

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By Rebecca, April 8, 2009 12:03 am

Have any other bloggers noticed a huge spike in comment spam over the last week? I’ve gone from a few a week to 20-30 a day! I’ve been using Akismet, a WordPress plugin, which has caught them really well, but it’s still rather obnoxious. Boo!

-R

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By Rebecca, April 6, 2009 10:00 pm

I went out with a friend today to get some more shopping done (and picked up some good basics, more tank tops and simple tops) and have been thinking about how the transition has affected seemingly simple things like buying clothing.

Before I transitioned, I really disliked shopping. I never really thought about why – boys aren’t ‘supposed’ to like shopping, so it was never really something I needed to justify. Likewise, it’s not unusual for boys to dislike wearing suits and ties, so my dislike of that also wasn’t particularly out of the ordinary.

In retrospect, it seems really obvious that liking my body more and liking the clothing I’m wearing more would make me enjoy shopping more. I had just never thought about it – the idea of transitioning, of having boobs and a butt, of really presenting myself to the world as a woman – and so never seriously thought about the idea of shopping for clothing outside of fantasy.

In some ways, it can’t live up to any of the absurd expectations I might have had: i haven’t had any magical transformation in the night, so I’m still working on my own body issues. Likewise, I haven’t magically gained the knowledge of twenty-plus years of being raised as a girl and living as a woman, so I’m still feeling rather awkward about shopping, and having to work on gaining confidence in picking things out.

But, in much more positive ways, there’s something amazing about having a fantasy even come close to actually happening.

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By Rebecca, April 4, 2009 6:17 pm

I’ve been thinking about privilege lately. As someone who grew up white, middle class, and (presenting to the world as) male, I’ve been near the top of the ‘privilege’ heap. I’m (culturally) Jewish, which certainly wouldn’t win me fans in all circles but hasn’t (to my knowledge) made me the subject of discrimination so far in my life. Moving through the world as said WMCM, I’ve learned to expect all of the privileges afforded to me as such. (WMCM = white, middle-class, male…doesn’t have quit the same ring as JAP or WASP, but what are you gonna do…I’m open to more witty suggestions if anyone has some.) I don’t think I’ve ever tried to claim undo privilege, ad I certainly hope that I haven’t, but I’ve read enough feminist, queer, and race theory to know that I’ve received the benefits of my WMCM privilege whether I’ve intended to or not.

Ceder over at Taking Up Too Much Space has come up with a Cis Privilege Checklist, having been inspired by Peggy McIntosh’s White Privilege Checklist. Both lists are woth taking a look at, because no matter who you are you either are the recipient of such privilege, or denied such privilege by virtue of not bing cis or white. But the lists are particularly interesting to go through from the perspective of figuring out how many privileges have been denied because of your non-cis or non-white status. (Interesting and depressing, but interesting nontheless.)

Continue reading 'Privilege'»

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By Rebecca, April 2, 2009 11:50 pm

It’s been almost exactly a year since I posted about feeling frustrated during rehearsals for the show I was in because I no longer had the muscle mass I was used to. Well, I’m finally registering for another circus class at work, a full year since I last had a free enough schedule to take a class. The class starts in a few weeks, and I’m a little nervous about it -  I’ve gained zero pounds in the last 12 months, but have made gains in the T-n-A department (wink wink, nudge nudge). And, as I’m well aware, that fat (unfortunately) isn’t just magically taking plumpness from my belly, it’s also taking muscle mass. I haven’t been doing circus recently, so won’t have the “oh shit, I just did this last week and now can’t” experience I had a year ago, but while working on rigging stuff I have noticed it’s harder to haul myself up to the grid and such.

That said, I do take some consolation in the fact that I haven’t gained weight. (Indeed, I’m down from my max weight sometime in college.) I’d still like to lose about 10 pounds, but hopefully with the regular exercise from class and finally being able to bike to work, that’ll be achievable. We’ll see.

(As a side note, on the topic of being able to bike to work, what the fuck were the two inches of snow doing falling from the sky on Monday?)

-R

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By Rebecca, April 1, 2009 11:20 pm

This is a work of fiction.

creak-creak.
Creak-Creak.
CREAK-CREAK!
(Gasp!) (Moan!)

I turned down the volume on my computer and looked at the wall as if I could see through it. I then regretted that thought, as what lay on the other side was obvious. More to the point, with the way my desk and Heather’s bed are configured, I’d get a feet-first view of Mark (Heather’s boyfriend) pumping away industriously. I obviously didn’t care that they were having sex, although a part of me couldn’t help but wonder why anyone else should be getting any when I sure as hell wasn’t, and they weren’t even being particularly loud. Unfortunately, our rooms have a linking door (a holdover from design decisions neither I, my roommates, or our landlords entirely understand) and the thin wood of the door did little to muffle any sounds.

I sighed. The irony was, Heather and I had had a conversation just days earlier about whether I could hear her having sex. I had said that I couldn’t, which had been true at the time but was no longer the case. How do you handle situations like these? As I said, it wasn’t an issue of wanting them to stop having sex in general, just that I don’t have enough of a voyeur in me to enjoy listening in on two friends having sex. Particularly when I know there’s no chance I’ll be invited to participate, and particularly if I’m sober.

I got up, walked down the hall to John’s room, and knocked. “Can I come in?”

Continue reading 'Root for the home team'»