I disagree. I think “tranny” does cover the ‘doing femininity badly’ point, because someone like me (ftm) *is* a female person doing femininity badly by refusing to do it (or caricaturing it in drag, but not all transmen do femme drag) and refusing to let that be negative.

I think I see where you’re coming from, but I feel like that’s feeding into the cissexist idea that trans men are “really” women (doing femininity badly) and trans women are “really” men (doing masculinity badly). I – as a trans woman – would rather be viewed as doing femininity badly (or, ideally, doing it well…). That is, I’d rather have my presentation compared to my identity (female) than my assigned sex (male).

(Or, in a perfect world, simply accepted and not compared to anything at all.)

Likewise, using tranny in the sense I think you are still seems to link back to masculinity as the gender against which everything should be compared. In your case, it would be whether a “real” woman looks like a man, in my case whether a “fake” woman does. In either case, the benchmark is the success at presenting or hiding masculinity, not at presenting masculinity or presenting femininity.

If no one steps up to reclaim it, it remains a wholly negative term. People who use it in a derogatory manner aren’t going to suddenly realize how mean they’re being. It’s all well and fine to recognize that it has hurtful meanings to it, but what’s the actual solution?

That’s a tough one, and something I don’t have a really good answer to. Part of changing people’s opinions lies in calling them out on it, though. From another post at your blog, about the friend-of-a-friend who didn’t “get” your presentation, I agree that the best outcome would have been to let her know why she was missing the point of being able to present as one identifies and chooses. Similarly, I’ve now made a specific effort to point out to my friends – mostly in TV and movies, but occasionally in casual conversation – when someone or something is transphobic or cissexist. (As I’ve posted elsewhere on this blog, How I Met Your Mother provides an unfortunate amount of fodder for this type of education…)

And you’re right, people aren’t going to suddenly realize how mean they’re being, but cultural shifts can happen. Kike, spic, wop (not to mention the n-word) haven’t disappeared, but they certainly aren’t as used or accepted in casual conversation anymore. Likewise, while I’m not holding my breath for “gay” to go away as an insult (let alone “tranny”) I’m going to do my part to make sure the people in my life aren’t using them as such.

I guess, ultimately, you’re right that – for almost all aspects of identity – the best way to handle labels is ask if they’re OK. Personally, I no longer use ‘tranny.’ Particularly after reading Cedar’s posts, it has an association with negative views of trans people, especially so when directed at myself. Likewise, language is what we decide it to be. “Tranny” doesn’t inherently need to mean anything positive or anything negative, but it does sound like we’re on opposite sides of how we each interpret it.

PS – I think it’s interesting you also use transman and transwoman (without the space) as opposed to trans man and trans woman. I’m not a fan of that either, because I feel like being trans is a (huge) aspect of my identity, as a person and as a woman, but I don’t like conflating it with my identity as a woman. (Cedar has another interesting post on that topic.)

Ash – I feel like fag, dyke, and queer all have more positive visions behind their reclamation (and, although I don’t agree with the ‘positive’ of reclaiming the-n-word, I can see how someone using it would). Likewise, I use queer all the time, although I’m not a huge fan of dyke or fag, because I really buy into what I feel the reclaiming of the word does (and don’t as much for fag and dyke). (Again, this is just my own opinions, and not to dismiss or disagree with anyone who does use ‘em.)

Mama Mia – Thanks for your comments! I’m glad my thoughts were useful, and hope Cedar’s posts were as well.

SnowdropExplore – That’s part of why I get such a kick out of the Urban Dictionary definition…as someone born in the mid-80s, the primary definition for ‘tranny’ is a derogative term for trans.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard “tranny” being used as a neutral term, only as an abusive one.