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By Rebecca, March 12, 2009 9:10 am

The Chicago Tribune is reporting that the Sears Tower’s new owners will be (ugh) changing its name (I just threw up a little bit in my mouth):

Sears Tower will change its name to Willis Tower under the terms of a new lease signed by global insurance broker Willis Group Holdings.

Willis Group plans to consolidate five area offices and move nearly 500 Associates into Willis Tower, at 233 S. Wacker, initially occupying more than 140,000 square feet on multiple floors.

I can’t believe they thought this was a good idea. The CEO was quotes as saying, “Having our name associated with Chicago’s most iconic structure underscores our commitment to this great city, and recognizes Chicago’s importance as a major financial hub and international business center,” but what he missed out on is that it also makes you a GIANT TOOL!

I’m all riled up now…

-R

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By Rebecca, March 11, 2009 11:02 pm

Tonight I went out with some coworkers after the high school show opened. (I think could actually qualify them as ‘friends,’ which is nice. The show opening also went really well, barring one head injury of a cast member, which is also nice. I think the injured cast member will be fine…fingers crossed.)

At the bar, we were asked for our IDs, which was all well and good, but when I handed mine to our waitress she sort of did a double take at it, paused, and looked up. She asked, “J?” As in, “You don’t look like a J…”

A lot of incomplete thoughts flashed across my mind in the brief moment before I said, “Mmhm.” After which she sort of shrugged, and everything was fine, but I’m trying to figure out how I feel about it, going to bed a few hours later.

Continue reading 'The (legal) name game'»

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By Rebecca, March 9, 2009 10:54 pm

Is there actually a lack of an online FTM trans community, or have  I missed it simply because I haven’t been looking for it?

I would like to be able to not look at every other woman and judge myself based on her (or, at least, judge myself and find that I sometimes can measure up…) I realize this isn’t unique to trans women, but I have a suspicion most cisgender women worry about whether or not their pee sounds right in the bathroom…

Someone at the Workshop today mentioned that someone else we’d been working with this past week was trans, and she wasn’t sure if she should say anything or not. I’m glad she did, because on the ride home I realized how powerful it is to have someone in my life – even if only tangentially – who is A) trans, B) successful in their chosen field, and C) passing. So thanks, you-know-who-you-are!

I still need to buy more clothing.

-R

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By Rebecca, March 6, 2009 10:04 pm

It’s that kind of week…I was home sick yesterday, and my appetite is now pretty much gone (and I’ve been having some appetite issues lately). I know I’m not eating enough, and I’m trying to eat more, but the physical act of eating is just making me naseaus.

But at least I wasn’t particularly productive at work this week, and my legs itch like crazy from the laser treatment.

-R

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By Rebecca, March 2, 2009 11:46 pm

I came home tonight and my rooommates were having a chat about relationships (I’m not entirely sure what they were talking about, to be honest) and it turned into one of those lovely meandering conversations about everything and nothing. But, of course, it eventually got me thinking about my relationship, and where I am.

I saw my therapist earlier tonight, and actually came out feeling pretty good. “You seem calmer this week,” she said, and it’s true, overall.

But I still really miss her. I do believe what I’m doing is the right thing for me in the long run, but I love her, and I really miss her. And thinking about that, of course, made me sad in the missing.

And AR and I started talking, in the door between our rooms, about how I think about myself. She said she was proud of me, and I said something along the lines of, “Don’t be.” She pressed me, and I said I don’t feel like I’m proud-worthy; that being proud of is something for “other people” and I don’t think very highly of myself right now (if I ever have).

She said that’s obviously something I need to work on. That maybe I should make an effort to write down compliments people give me and keep a book, or post them on my wall, or solicit thoughts on myself from friends so I know that they think highly of me.

The idea of such an overwhelming amount of compliments literally had me on the floor, hiding with my hands over my head.

Obviously, that’s not a great way to think of myself:  so poorly that the mere idea of being complimented can drive me to tears.

And I’m not sure what to do about it.

-R

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By Rebecca, March 1, 2009 3:07 pm

Edit: I called the hair removal place, as I realized “I’m reacting differently to something that’s been fine in the past” is usually a bad thing. They said to try neosporin as well, and icing, and to call again on Tuesday or Wednesday (about a week since the treatment) if the redness hasn’t gone down. Oh well….

As I mentioned in the previous post, I recently went in for my third-of-six session of laser hair removal for my arms, chest, and stomach. It was less painful than it has been in the past, and didn’t take super-long, either.

Unfortunately, four days later, my arms are still covered in little red bumps and itch like crazy! This is a known possible side effect of the laser, but I haven’t had it so strong before, and it’s driving me insane. I’ve been using hydrocortisone, which is what the hair removal place recommended in the past, and I’m also using perscription lidocaine and prilocaine, which is a topical anasthetic which is supposed to be used before treatment. I’m not sure if it’s actually effective for this, though a Google search seems to indicate it could be, but I want the itching to go away!

I’m going to maybe try a cool washcloth as well, and if it’s still driving me crazy tomorrow I’m going to give the hair removal place a call. It’s a ‘good’ reaction, in that it means it killed the foliciles, but it’s less good if I gnaw my arms off at the elbows…

-R