If it makes you feel any better…
I realized recently that no sentence which begins, “If it makes you feel any better…” ever actually makes someone feel any better. Lets do some test runs:
If it makes you feel any better, my dad just got thrown in jail!
Nope. Doesn’t help.
If it makes you feel any better, I heard Steve got fired, too.
Nope. Still doesn’t help.
If it makes you feel any better, Gabe and I are having relationship problems, too.
Nope. Still doesn’t help.
Why can’t it ever be If it makes you feel any better, here’s a box of puppies! Or If it makes you feel any better, you just won the lottery! Or even If it makes you feel any better, take the rest of the day off. Any of those might actually help.
-R
Themocracy
If it makes you feel any better… I think you’re awesome.