Edit, 4/8/09 – For whatever reason, this post has attracted tons of spam posts – maybe 20-30 a day – so I am disabling comments on this post (and only this post). If you really need to reach me about this specific post, email me at blog [at] fridaythang [dot] com. Otherwise, comment on a different post.
I knocked on my roommate’s door. “Can I come in?”
“What’s up?”
“Just wanted outfit input.”
“One sec. Lemme grab my robe.”
MG was in town for her birthday, and we were all meeting her at a nearby restaurant. She’d specified in the Facebook invite to be ‘dressy,’ especially for the girls.
I don’t exactly have many ‘dressy’ options. Most of the unreasonable amount of money I’ve spent on clothing in the last few months has gone to either comfy, every-day stuff, or things appropriate to wear to work. Neither category would satisfy MG’s request for ‘dressy.’
“So do you think I’ll get in trouble if I wear this?” I had on black pants and a black sweatshirt under lose gray top for which I don’t have the vocabulary.
My roommate, fresh out of the shower and in a red robe, said”I like it,” and my heart sank a little.
My brother recently got engaged (he proposed after skiing, because he and his girlfriend fiance are crazy ski bums). They’re planning the wedding for Summer 2010, since they have four or five weddings to attend this summer.
Of course, the second thought I had was, “Oh dear lord, what am I going to wear?” (For the record, the first thought was “holy shit! my brother’s getting married!”)
I’m out to my brother, but we haven’t really talked about the transition. We’ve never been super close or communicative, but also never really fought or had any big head-butting. Obviously, a year and a half is a very long time, but I’m feeling like it places a deadline on ‘The Talk,’ whereas before it could happen, y’know, whenever…
And I’m not dying to have a discussion about how ‘little bro’ is ‘little sis’
Sorry for the title, but I couldn’t come up with a good rhyme… Although RhymeZone.com suggests ‘lesser,’ ‘professor,’ ‘successor,’ and ‘air compressor’ as possible alternatives… (Also, sorry for being remiss in posting. I think the big reason for that is all the stuff listed below.)
Anyway, I’ve been stressing: having trouble getting to sleep, feeling nervous and panic-y, all the stuff I was talking about in early December.
I realized one of the things that helped me then was listing all the stressors, so I figured I’d try that again now:
Relationship/transitioning issues with G
Feeling like I don’t have enough time for all the things in my life and for myself. ‘All the things in my life’ includes:
Monday: Therapy
Tuesday: Workshop rehearsal for the piece I’m directing (and now, conflicting, a weekly theatre thing with friends)
Wednesday: Trans youth group
Thursday: Workshop class I’m teaching (starts next week)
Friday: Blissfully nothing, and the stress of using downtime ‘well’
Saturday: A class I’m taking; more Workshop rehearsal
Sunday: Rehearsal for a friend’s recital piece that I don’t really want to do but am doing as a favor to her
(And, of course, a full-time job)
Money, specifically paying off hair removal (3/4 of the way there, but I want it off my back)
Buying a new wardrobe (partially linked to ‘money’; I have, like, six or seven tops that I can reasonably wear to work that I just keep cycling through)
Feeling insecure in the transition (to be the subject of a longer post, one of these days)
Boo! Stress, stress, go away, and don’t come back another day!
Gays of course have the right to marry. The opposite sex.
Of course, that does not match their personal preference, but then again having your preferences catered to by the state isn’t something you can count on when you are a distinct minority.
I’d imagine you’re aware of the usual response to that, but I think it’s important enough that it bears repeating.
Whether or not being gay is a preference/choice or biologically determined is is irrelevant to the arguments in favor of gay marriage. Regardless of the cause of homosexuality, the government should not be in the business of regulating the behavior of consenting adults or discriminating based on said behavior.
In general, the argument for marriage only being valid for a man and a woman revolves around child-rearing. If that’s the case, it’s odd that so many of the legal and financial rights/privileges granted by marriage do not directly relate to child reading and, indeed, apply regardless of whether or not the married couple has children, ever plans to have children, or even can have children. For example, my mom is now past child-bearing age. Does that mean she shouldn’t be allowed to get (re)married?
So please don’t act like qualifying homosexuality as a preference and talking about the rights of gay men and women to marry people of the opposite sex as if it takes the wind out of the sails of gay marriage proponents. It doesn’t.
-R
PS – As a side note, part of a well-functioning government’s role is to protect minorities from tyranny of the majority [wikipedia.org]. So while you’re right, a minority population can’t count on the state’s protection, it’s not unreasonable to expect such protection in the (theoretical) ‘ideal’ state.
Heya. I wanted to let you both know that I’m now using the name R, along with female pronouns, instead of J and male pronouns. I’ve been trying to catch you both when you’re home to let you know, but it’s never seemed to work out. (Although I’m pretty sure [my roommate] A’s referred to me as “R- I mean J” about a million times, so maybe this won’t come as a huge surprise.)
And their response:
That’s cool! We already knew, so you’re right it isn’t a surprise. P and I just wanted to respect your privacy until you told us otherwise.
I’m still feeling sort of like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop… Not a single person has had a negative reaction to the transition. Which isn’t to say family and loved ones haven’t had a hard time, but not a single “What the fuck?”
Here’s part two of the Ares and Aphrodite solo performance piece I put up in November as part of Charged Bodies at Links Hall in Chicago. And, again, here’s the script, in case the audio is too poor to understand…
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