Goin’ to the chapel
A friend of mine is getting married this upcoming weekend and I’ve been stressing about what I’m wearing, and whether I’m going in boy-mode or girl-mode.
Initially, I assumed it was ‘obvious’ (note: nothing ever is) that I’d be going in boy-mode. My reasoning was I hadn’t seen the friend in a while and, while I’ve been out to her for years and she’s been nothing but accepting, she and her fiance are on the more conservative end of the spectrum than I am and I didn’t want to do anything that would distract from her special day. I feel like it would be selfish to present myself in such a way that would in any way take away from the focus on her.
However, I was told recently by MG that she and SH (the bride) had been talking and SH was totally okay if I went in girl-mode and was a little confused that I was thinking about not doing so.
So for the last week or so I’ve been stressing about how to go to the wedding, and constantly going back and forth. I brought some boy dress clothing from my mom’s over to the new apartment today (which needs another post entirely; summary is it’s great! well, mostly great!) and showed what I was thinking – black pants, blue button down shirt, tie, and jacket – to some male friends and it received their seal of approval. I’m pretty sure that’s what I’m going to wear, even though looking in the mirror I feel like A) I’ve lost some weight since buying the clothing and what weight is left has been (ahem) redistributed somewhat and B) I see my face as more and more feminine, so it looks a little drag-king-esque anyway.
But I feel like finding time before Saturday to go shopping for something – anything – I’ll feel comfortable wearing in girl-mode to the wedding is too much additional stress right now, particularly since I no longer have a weekend over which I could do some lower-stress not-post-work shopping. (My own fault, I know.)
And I feel sort of odd, because friends and my mom keep sort of nudging me toward going in girl-mode. I sort of think I understand that, about encouraging me to ‘be myself,’ which I do want to do, but I also feel like I should get to go at my own pace and going from ‘being in girl-mode most of the time outside of work, sometimes going out with friends in girl-mode’ to ‘going to a wedding in girl-mode’ is a major leap for me right now.
Or should I just have bit the bullet and gotten a stupid girl-mode outfit?
-R
Themocracy
Well you obviously know what I think. If you didn’t work on Friday I would offer to go shopping with you because I have some time before the rehearsal.
I’m sure you’ll look beautiful or handsome (what a lame word) in whatever you decide to wear.
How bout something androgynous? Some kind of compromise?