Comments (0)

By Rebecca, May 23, 2013 4:24 pm

I recently picked up The Essential Feminist Reader (which I’ll be shortening to TEFR) a collection of 64 essays and excerpts on feminist from the last six hundred years. Because they’re all delightfully short (an average of about seven pages each) it seems like an approachable way to dive into what I hope will be a much larger self-directed course of study around feminism. My goal is to read at least one essay a week from TEFR and respond to each one over the course of the coming months. I expect the responses to be varied  a summary and commentary (like today), a free-writing process, a poem, whatever  feels right at the time. All of these posts will be under the tag TEFR.

I know, it’s been months since my last TEFR posting. No excuses, just an acknowledgment that my original goal of one of these posts a week seems laughable now. But better late than never! #5 in TEFR is a selection from A Vindication on the Rights of Women (which I’ll shorten to Vindication) by Mary Wollstonecraft. Here’s the Wikipedia article on the essay and and here’s the essay itself.

Vindication is the first essay in TEFR that seems modern and relatable, with relatively few occasions where I was forced to stop and say, “Now, remember, she was just a product of her time.” In contrast to the first four essays, Wollstonecraft (mother of Mary Shelly, of Frankenstein fame) speaks primarily to culture and society and less of God and religion:

…either nature has made a great difference between man and man [sic - at this point she's talking broadly about everyone], or the civilization which has hitherto taken place in the world has been very partial… women, in particular, are rendered weak and wretched by a variety of concurring causes, originating from one hasty conclusion [that women are naturally lesser than men] Continue reading '5. A Vindication of the Rights of Women (1792) – Essential Feminist Reader'»

Comments (4)

By Rebecca, May 21, 2013 4:39 pm

This past week I received a packet of documents from my surgeon, including clarification about payments (this much money to her practice, this much to the anesthesiologist, this much to the hospital), about housing and hotel stay, about travel, about pre- and post-care, and all the other minute details that go into preparing for, executing, and recovering from a major surgery.

The experience of reading all that info – and rereading much of it – made my upcoming surgery more real. I’ve done my research, and a vaginoplasty is not an abstract concept to me. But reading the specifics of how it will impact me – not a general description, not someone I know online, not a friend or a lover, but me – is taking some time to process.

Dilation is a specific example. So, after surgery, the body isn’t sure what to do with this new hole. It’s natural response is to close it up and “heal” the “wound.” Dilation works to prevent that by dilating (holding open) the new vagina so that the body heals in a desirable fashion.

For the first 24 weeks (six months!) Dr McGinn recommends five sessions a day. At twenty minutes a session, that’s almost 17,000 minutes, or 280 hours, of having a plastic dildo up my new vagina, all to ensure my body won’t freak the fuck out and close this new and foreign hole. Then four times a day for the rest of the first year, for a total of over five hundred hours. Continue reading 'The Math of Dilation'»

Comments (1)

By Rebecca, May 4, 2013 2:47 pm

I spent most of the March 31, 2013, Trans 100 launch event backstage: helping to guide presenters on and off stage, running back and forth between the dressing room and the theatre, and – in the few moments where I actually had nothing to do – pacing and worrying. In the final stretch of of the evening, when the last names were being read, I paused for a moment and actually listened:

“Stephen Ira, author who explores trans identity through text.”

“Susan Stryker, author and theorist, Director of the LGBT Center at the University of Arizona .”

“Teiji Okamato, educator and activist around HIV/AIDS treatment.”

“Tracie O’Brien, activist, co-founder of Transaction San Diego.”

I was finally able to put my finger on something that had been tickling at my brain all evening. When a list of names is read in a public setting, particularly in the trans community, it’s often a list of the dead. The Transgender Day of Remembrance is held every November for exactly that reason: to memorialize those who were murdered for stepping outside of society’s assigned gender lines. Now the Trans 100 was being read as a list of names, and my brain had unconsciously filed it under the same category: a list memorializing those deceased. I turned to Jen Richards, co-creator of the Trans 100 along with Antonia D’orsay, and primary organizer of the event. (I listed her as ‘Queen Bee’ on the contact sheets I emailed out to other volunteers.) She was also watching from backstage as the event neared its conclusion.

“Jen,” I whispered, “This feels really stupid, but I just realized something: Everyone on this list…is alive.” Continue reading 'Stepping up my game – thoughts on the Trans 100'»

Comments (1)

By Rebecca, May 2, 2013 4:08 pm

TheMichigan Women’s Music Festival (often called Michfest) describes itself thusly:

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if women ran the world? We think about it, but how often do we get to experience it? Imagine a town conceived, planned, structured and operated entirely by womyn.

First conceived in the hot feminist politics of the mid-70s, consciously developed through four decades of female ingenuity, feminist process, queer sensibility and dyke vision, the Festival has become an enduring and beloved incarnation of women’s imagination and spirit.

Michfest is known throughout queer, feminist, and women-empowered spaces as THE women’s-only cultural event. It’s almost 40 years old (founded in 1976 by Lisa Vogel, who still runs it today) and the Fest comes out of a culture of feminism, anti-racism, diversity, collectivism, and community experience. It’s certainly not an exclusively lesbian space, but (not surprisingly) it has a large lesbian culture and is often seen as part and parcel of the larger US lesbian experience or community. Sounds awesome, right? I’m a huge fan of intentional communities, and of coming together for artistic expression.

Oh, they also specifically forbid trans women from attending. Continue reading 'Everyone wants to talk about MichFest'»

Comments (3)

By Rebecca, April 22, 2013 11:18 am

I may have mentioned this before, but it’s worth mentioning again! An upcoming anthology, 21 Peaceful Genders, is looking for awesome submissions. The details:

GUIDELINES:  Are you an individual who identifies as transgender, intersex, innersex, genderqueer, nonconforming, or gender-gifted?  Are you a health professional working with patients who identify as transgendered, intersex, genderqueer, nonconforming or gender-gifted?  Do you conceptualize gender as an experience more than an assignment?  21 Peaceful Genders – No Boxes, No Bars, No Apologies will be an anthology that paints a picture of gender as a place of possibility. We welcome original creative non-fiction, fiction, poetry and b/w photography.  If you identify as trans*, and this theme resonates with you, what approaches have contributed to a more affirming health care experience for you? If you are a health care professional, please weave the creative insights that have informed your most-helpful approaches into your submission.  Our intention is to help bridge the gap of misunderstanding between genderqueer individuals and the healthcare system at large. Submit to info@21peacefulgenders.com.  Suggest 2000 word max.  Deadline Dec 31, 2013.  First Prize pays $500, plus two honorable mentions, paid in copies.  Feel free to circulate/post this call.

Well, gang, get on it!

Comments (2)

By Rebecca, April 15, 2013 1:49 pm

I’ve been listening to the first two episodes of the trans-focused podcast Sugar and Spice, hosted by Jen Richards of (among other things) We Happy Trans and the Trans 100, and Bailey Jay of being fucking awesome (and also awesome fucking, NSFW). In the first episode, they interviewed Namoli Brennet,  wonderful trans singer/songwriter. At one point, someone (I think Namoli, but I could be wrong) talked about the idea of blending into a crowd. This is something a lot of trans people desire: the ability to be perceived as no different than anyone else. I know I hate feeling like I stand out, because that usually means I feel like I’m standing out in a negative way.

Her comment got me thinking, though, about the idea of passing, and replacing that with the idea of blending. I don’t like the phrase “passing” because of its implications: if you don’t pass, you fail. Likewise, it places the responsibility of passing on the trans person: you didn’t pass. I think the more accurate phrase is “being perceived as the gender which one is presenting,” but that’s a bit of a mouthful. Even though I don’t like it, the idea of passing is conceptually useful when discussing things like “passing privilege.” That is, the ability for a trans person to be perceived as cis, and move through cis spaces without (much) risk or danger. (For the record, I absolutely have passing privilege in my day to day life. I can walk down the street and reasonably assume I won’t be “clocked,” or read as trans.)

This may be over-thinking things (it probably is) but I like the idea of blending as opposed to passing, because it places a trans person within a larger society. I blend for the exact same reasons I pass, but I wouldn’t blend in a community of color, having nothing to do with my status as trans. Passing is also used to talk about “passing as straight,” or “passing as white,” but there I think blending is even more apt: Is this person – possibly through no fault or credit of their own – able to blend into this larger group? (Cis-ness, straight-ness, white-ness, whatever.)

I don’t expect blending to replace passing any time soon (or, y’know, ever) but it’s an interesting way to distinguish who holds the responsibility for trans-otherness. (Hint: that responsibility sure as hell isn’t on trans people.) It also is something less wordy than ”being perceived as the gender which one is presenting,” while still being relatively clear. Just food for thought.

Comments (0)

By Rebecca, April 14, 2013 4:44 pm

As Chicago sloowwwwly edges its way into spring, canvassers have started appearing on street corners and in front of coffee shops. These are the chipper young individuals with clipboard and colored vests who ask, “Do you have a minute to help the environment?” Or, “Do you a minute to help keep money out of politics?” Or, “Do you have a minute for gay rights?” This last question is being asked by canvassers from the HRC, the Human Rights Campaign, in blue and yellow vests with the HRC’s equality logo large and visible. The rise in canvassers has coincidentally coincided the rise of people changing their Facebook profile pics to a red equality logo to show support of marriage equality.

When I’m approached by an HRC canvasser on the street, I used to say what most people say to canvassers: “Not right now. Sorry, I don’t have time.” (This is if I didn’t avoid eye contact, ignore them entirely, and walk right by.) But lately I’ve been stopping to chat with HRC canvassers and talk about why I have lots of minutes for gay rights, but have no money and little support for the HRC itself. So, with the HRC on my mind recently, and in the news, lets talk about why I’m not a fan. Continue reading 'I want to hold the HRC to a higher standard than I hold my twelve year old students'»

Comments (3)

By Rebecca, April 2, 2013 6:16 pm

My Vagification Celebration – a benefit party to support my fundraising efforts towards my surgery – was a little over a week ago. In many ways, it was a rousing success: we raised over $2,000 (a profit of about $1,400), the performers were amazing, the volunteers at the bar and the door and the games and booths were almost all awesome, it was a fantastic mix of people, and I had a really good time. As far as I know, most everyone else did, too, and I’m excited to see some of the pictures that were taken.

I also failed to maintain the safe space that I had promised – both explicitly and implicitly, both online and in person – to create.

One of the attractions of the evening were radical consent booths – we had a lapdancing booth, a cuddling booth, and a spanking booth. The radical consent part meant that, by donating to the person running the booth, you weren’t guaranteed anything; you were entitled to a discussion about what you and they wanted, and had to come to a mutual agreement. Of course, the people running the booths were doing so because they wanted to cuddle, or give lap dances, or spank people, so the discussion on consent wasn’t supposed to be contentious, just real and valid.

Around 12:30AM, a trans friend came up to me, extremely upset. She had been in the cuddling booth with one of the designated cuddlers. I did not get the whole story at the time, but it quickly became clear that she had cuddled in a more sexual fashion than he was comfortable with. It sounds like he did nothing to express this, though, beyond saying he didn’t want to make out with her because she was drunk. (Which is a totally reasonable position to take.) When she persisted in her sexual cuddling, he said something along the lines of, “I prefer women. I mean, I have lots of friends who are trannies, it’s just not my thing.” She was understandably furious, and went to find me. Continue reading 'Failing to maintain a safe space'»

Comments (0)

By Rebecca, April 2, 2013 3:19 pm

Why hello there! Been a while since I’ve posted, but that’s mostly for good reasons. Lets go through a few of ‘em:

Trans 100

This is one of the more exciting things that has been keeping me busy. Over the last few months, the fabulous Jen Richards (of We Happy Trans) and Toni D’orsay (of This Is How) put together the Trans 100, a list of 100 activist, organizers, educators, and more who are working for the good of the trans community. Oh, and everyone on the list is trans. I am incredibly proud and grateful to have been named to the list, and share the honor with some really amazing powerhouses: Dr Susan Stryker, S. Bear Bergman, Kokumo, Dr Kortney Ryan Ziegler, Janet Mock, Namoli Brennet, CeCe McDonald, and tons more. The event has received quite a bit of positive coverage from GLAAD (or is it now GLAD?) the Huffington Post, the Windy City Times, and elsewhere.

Jen roped me into helping with a bunch of backstage stuff, which was exhausting but also exhilarating and empowering. The event was almost entirely organized and run by trans people, which was a delight in and of itself. But the energy in the space – from the presenters and the audience – was overwhelming and positive. Check out #trans100 on Twitter to see what I mean. I was offstage the entire event, helping direct traffic and get presenters on and off in a timely manner, but I had a perfect view to see the entire evening. It was in the final stretch, the last round of names, when I turned to Jen and said, “This feels really stupid, but I just realized something: Everyone on this list…is alive.”

It seems silly to say that, as one of the taglines for the event was “Celebrate the Living.” But the way we usually hear lists of trans people is at the Trans Day of Remembrance, when we read a list of our dead. To be honoring and celebrating and highlighting people who are still with us, for the awesome work that they’re doing, was overwhelming. I’m honored to have been named to the list, proud to have helped make the event happen, and so charged to move forward. I want to live up to the expectations I hope the Trans 100 is setting, and be able to look back a year from now with no regrets about the work I’ve been doing, or the feeling I could/should have done more.

Continue reading 'Its been a while – Trans 100, fundraising updates, and more'»

Comments (0)

By Rebecca, March 13, 2013 8:47 pm

I live at the center of a Venn diagram – circles overlapping circles, the logical relations between a finite collection of sets. Each set a community, and each community overlapping to a greater or lesser extent. This set for theater (with a sub-set for Piven), that one for the queer community, this set for high school friends, that set for college friends, this set for A, that set for B, this set for 1, that set for 2. Overlapping circles and ellipses and shapes indescribable. A puzzle: Piven and theater overlap, Piven and queer do not. Queer and theater overlap, theater and family do not. Place all sets in such a way that they describe their relations; at the center of all sets lies me; the hub and nexus of my various communities.

Not the nexus in a self-centered way – I don’t believe I’m the driving force behind these communities. Rather, I describe myself as the nexus in that we are each at the center of our own lives. I can only describe my communities, that is to say “The communities in which I am involved,” as they relate to myself. But if I am the nexus of my life, the nucleus of my cellular makeup, what is contained within the greater structure? Why do I find it difficult to connect to a larger communal body? Continue reading 'The Venn Diagram of Identity'»